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The Federal Republic of Ophaesia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by First Citizen Badass with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 15.118 billion Ophaesians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scranton. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Ophaesian economy, worth a remarkable 2,403 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 158,983 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose, the carbon footprint falls along with the human footprint during war, the contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across Ophaesia, and every school is receiving a brand new eraser. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ophaesia's national animal is the Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ophaesia is ranked 22,995^th in the world and 73^rd in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Most Pacifist, with 116.37 cheeks turned per day.