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The Territory of Offal

“Posture, Poise, and Pomp.”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Nipper


The Territory of Offal is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Wasude Stralwemp with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, triple-decker prams, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.681 billion Offalites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Djardjingling. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Offalian economy, worth a remarkable 2,785 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 287,726 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's government buildings are remarkable for being ugly concrete boxes, it's considered a valid legal defence to say "a demon made me do it", police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, and religious classes are compulsory for all school students. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Offal's national animal is the mountain bike, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Red Hot Jalapeņo Poppers.

Offal is ranked 14,798th in the world and 574th in The North Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 6,477.65 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 18thMost Primitive: 35thMost Ignorant Citizens: 59thMost Devout: 84thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 156thBest Weather: 316thMost Patriotic: 365thMost Corrupt Governments: 662ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 817thLargest Black Market: 840thLowest Crime Rates: 930thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,291stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,442ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,720thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,730thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,043rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,316thLargest Governments: 2,525thHighest Average Incomes: 2,624thTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 2,736thNudest: 3,688thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,134thMost Authoritarian: 4,568thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,399thHighest Economic Output: 6,457thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7,283rdHealthiest Citizens: 9,025thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,300thMost Conservative: 9,950thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 11,025thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,456thTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 14,798thLargest Welfare Programs: 19,369thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 22,863rdMost Efficient Economies: 23,038th
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 3rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Devout: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11th in the regionMost Patriotic: 16th in the regionBest Weather: 25th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 29th in the regionLargest Black Market: 31st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 43rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 49th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 54th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 54th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 65th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 79th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 81st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 100th in the regionNudest: 117th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 118th in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 121st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 144th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 187th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 195th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 196th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 231st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 321st in the regionMost Extreme: 337th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 476th in the regionMost Conservative: 512th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 526th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 574th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 588th in the regionTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 627th in the regionLargest Populations: 637th in the regionMost Stationary: 859th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 950th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 951st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 985th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,194th in the region

National Happenings

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