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The Rogue Nation of Nocoins

“We don't take Visa, checks, or cash!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Location: The East Pacific

Regional Influence: Sprat


The Rogue Nation of Nocoins is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Great Billfold with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, triple-decker prams, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.591 billion Cents-less Citizens are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality and Environment also on the agenda, while Education and Healthcare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the National Mint. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.8%.

The all-consuming Nocoinsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,816 trillion liars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 144,266 liars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 449,600 per year while the poor average 35,568, a ratio of 12.6 to 1.

To 'cut off family ties' is no longer just a phrase, oddly simian-looking religious thugs beat up anyone who suggests humans are related to monkeys, flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists, and there's a mortuary next to every Nocoinsian restaurant. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Nocoins's national animal is the Cockatrice, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Nocoins is ranked 260,163rd in the world and 10,077th in The East Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 0.11 quips per hour.

Most Primitive: 19thMost Ignorant Citizens: 19thMost Devout: 51stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 180thFattest Citizens: 271stMost Corrupt Governments: 293rdBest Weather: 314thMost Armed: 348thMost Avoided: 355thHighest Crime Rates: 458thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 574thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 642ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 876thMost Beautiful Environments: 975thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,514thMost Patriotic: 2,207thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,230thTop
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,982ndLargest Black Market: 3,319thRudest Citizens: 5,051stHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,219thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7,884thMost Stationary: 8,476thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,547thHighest Economic Output: 10,675thMost Authoritarian: 12,998thTop
Most Influential: 14,138thMost Conservative: 16,491stHighest Average Incomes: 16,797thLargest Populations: 25,392nd
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 6th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 9th in the regionFattest Citizens: 11th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 12th in the regionMost Armed: 12th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionMost Avoided: 14th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 20th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 43rd in the regionMost Patriotic: 49th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 51st in the regionLargest Black Market: 60th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 70th in the regionTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 125th in the regionMost Stationary: 128th in the regionRudest Citizens: 142nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 181st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 190th in the regionLargest Populations: 195th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 217th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 426th in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 649th in the regionMost Influential: 719th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 738th in the regionLargest Governments: 796th in the regionMost Conservative: 841st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 910th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 968th in the region

National Happenings

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