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The Kingdom of New Zestonia

“mods deleted the real motto”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Kingdom of New Zestonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Long Kai with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, avowedly heterosexual populace, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.313 billion New Zestonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zestopia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.8%.

The frighteningly efficient New Zestonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,369 trillion zozzles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 121,042 zozzles, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

The thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, the nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics, warning signs caution New Zestonians where they may fall off 'the edge of the world', and concerned environmentalists wipe away their tears with tissues sourced from Tasmanian old-growth redwoods. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. New Zestonia's national animal is the Zesty Zebra, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is ikachichiism.

New Zestonia is ranked 32,112^th in the world and 1,537^th in Balder for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 96.87 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.

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