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The Kingdom of New Zestonia

“mods deleted the real motto”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Location: Balder

Regional Influence: Sprat


The Kingdom of New Zestonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Long Kai with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, avowedly heterosexual populace, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.313 billion New Zestonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zestopia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.8%.

The frighteningly efficient New Zestonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,369 trillion zozzles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 121,042 zozzles, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

The thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, the nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics, warning signs caution New Zestonians where they may fall off 'the edge of the world', and concerned environmentalists wipe away their tears with tissues sourced from Tasmanian old-growth redwoods. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. New Zestonia's national animal is the Zesty Zebra, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is ikachichiism.

New Zestonia is ranked 32,112th in the world and 1,537th in Balder for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 96.87 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.

Most Primitive: 1,405thMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,421stTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3,081stLargest Black Market: 3,420thMost Devout: 4,374thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,934thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,299thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,706thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6,977thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,189thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 12,325thMost Patriotic: 12,838thTop
Highest Economic Output: 14,812thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,429thMost Authoritarian: 19,360thLargest Gambling Industry: 20,819thMost Conservative: 21,107thLargest Mining Sector: 22,552ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 22,648thHighest Average Incomes: 25,657th
Most Primitive: 63rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 68th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 145th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 159th in the regionMost Devout: 190th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 250th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 268th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 283rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 336th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 357th in the regionTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 416th in the regionMost Stationary: 571st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 579th in the regionMost Patriotic: 593rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 641st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 685th in the regionMost Conservative: 706th in the regionLargest Populations: 717th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 727th in the region

National Happenings

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