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The National Treasure of Nachtwacht

“Je Maintiendrai la République”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:

Location: Nederland

Regional Influence: Vassal


The National Treasure of Nachtwacht is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Rembrandt van Rijn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 33.809 billion Nachtwachtians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Amsterdam. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Nachtwachtian economy, worth a remarkable 7,084 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 209,545 euros, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Lobbyists are trying to convince government to recategorize most natural disasters as "non-critical naturogenic inconveniences", children usually cry on their first day of school, babies are a small but significant export, and corporate lawyers are joyfully combing through the new tax code for any new loopholes for their clients. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Nachtwacht's national animal is the lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Nachtwacht is ranked 69,106th in the world and 29th in Nederland for Highest Drug Use, scoring 86.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Largest Gambling Industry: 1,136thHighest Economic Output: 1,322ndLargest Black Market: 1,539thMost Stationary: 1,557thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,744thLargest Populations: 2,036thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,122ndLargest Mining Sector: 2,375thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,456thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 3,164thHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,289thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,706thHighest Average Incomes: 6,519thLargest Retail Industry: 6,633rdLargest Publishing Industry: 6,861stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,188thMost Avoided: 7,253rdMost Corrupt Governments: 7,284thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,812thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,960thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,600thMost Influential: 8,647thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,008thMost Secular: 11,953rdTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 14,367thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,146thMost Cultured: 16,355thSmartest Citizens: 18,069thHighest Poor Incomes: 18,666thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,220thMost Patriotic: 21,251stLargest Governments: 21,737thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22,783rdMost Advanced Public Education: 24,875th
Most Efficient Economies: 4th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 6th in the regionMost Cultured: 6th in the regionTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 7th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 8th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 8th in the regionMost Inclusive: 9th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9th in the regionRudest Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 10th in the region

National Happenings

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