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The National Treasure of Nachtwacht

“Je Maintiendrai la République”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The National Treasure of Nachtwacht is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Rembrandt van Rijn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 33.809 billion Nachtwachtians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Amsterdam. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Nachtwachtian economy, worth a remarkable 7,084 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 209,545 euros, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Lobbyists are trying to convince government to recategorize most natural disasters as "non-critical naturogenic inconveniences", children usually cry on their first day of school, babies are a small but significant export, and corporate lawyers are joyfully combing through the new tax code for any new loopholes for their clients. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Nachtwacht's national animal is the lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Nachtwacht is ranked 69,106^th in the world and 29^th in Nederland for Highest Drug Use, scoring 86.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

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