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The Divine Intervention of Miss Bad Life Choices

“Surely Heaven Waits For You”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
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Location: The Black Hawks

Regional Influence: Squire


The Divine Intervention of Miss Bad Life Choices is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Dakota Vytherov with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, ritual sacrifices, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.072 billion Daks are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Azaelai. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Dakian economy, worth 995 trillion gold coins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 140,753 gold coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 402,983 per year while the poor average 39,137, a ratio of 10.3 to 1.

The government has awarded itself a month-long holiday to celebrate its achievements, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward, Dakota Vytherov's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards, and throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Miss Bad Life Choices's national animal is the space dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Lynxism.

Miss Bad Life Choices is ranked 17,391st in the world and 51st in The Black Hawks for Largest Governments, scoring 27.75 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 572ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,162ndTop
Most Devout: 3,496thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,376thLargest Black Market: 6,457thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,486thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,949thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,027thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,417thLargest Mining Sector: 8,705thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,061stMost Efficient Economies: 10,179thTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 12,524thLowest Crime Rates: 13,861stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15,635thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16,320thHighest Average Incomes: 16,471stMost Developed: 16,562ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16,725thLargest Governments: 17,391stMost Advanced Public Education: 17,943rdHighest Economic Output: 18,693rdMost Authoritarian: 19,542ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,222ndMost Cultured: 22,965th
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8th in the regionMost Devout: 16th in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 17th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 26th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 28th in the regionLargest Black Market: 31st in the regionMost Developed: 33rd in the region

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