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The Brat of Minskiev

“bumpin' that”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Brat of Minskiev is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Ivan Kovalenko with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 9.506 billion Minskievians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kyiv. The average income tax rate is 96.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Minskievian economy, worth a remarkable 3,181 trillion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 334,726 rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The fastest growing demographic of porn viewership is twelve to seventeen, immigrants who carry knives on them are presumed to be chefs, handling people's data is proving an immersive experience, and Ivan Kovalenko knows that some internet activities are strictly solitary (Minskiev has found 14 easter eggs). Crime is totally unknown. Minskiev's national animal is the walrus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Zyonnism.

Minskiev is ranked 286,237^th in the world and 6,445^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Primitive, scoring -708.6 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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