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The The Grand Holy Empire of McStooley

“Drink & Drink & Drink & Drink & Drink & Drink & Fight!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: the Pacific

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The The Grand Holy Empire of McStooley is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Grand Holiness with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, state-planned economy, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.423 billion Drunkards are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winking Skeever. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Drunkard economy, worth a remarkable 3,600 trillion Bronzed Bottle Caps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 289,792 Bronzed Bottle Caps, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Artists from across the nation compete to renovate the restrooms of old government buildings, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, the fire brigade often deal with cases of burnt toast, and bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. McStooley's national animal is the Bar Stool, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Barhopping.

McStooley is ranked 62,504th in the world and 1,787th in the Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 11.66 Obesity Rate.

Most Subsidized Industry: 376thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 451stMost Advanced Public Transport: 463rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 783rdLargest Governments: 848thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 866thLowest Crime Rates: 1,031stLargest Welfare Programs: 1,138thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,238thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,431stMost Efficient Economies: 1,439thMost Devout: 1,559thLargest Black Market: 1,765thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 2,181stHighest Poor Incomes: 2,417thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,904thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,137thHighest Economic Output: 3,164thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,309thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,368thMost Developed: 3,851stMost Cultured: 4,594thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,812thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,847thLargest Information Technology Sector: 6,172ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,293rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,197thSmartest Citizens: 7,306thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,498thMost Inclusive: 8,602ndTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,139thLargest Mining Sector: 12,332ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,516thLargest Populations: 19,957th
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 6th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 10th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 16th in the regionLargest Governments: 21st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 21st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 23rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 26th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 28th in the regionLargest Black Market: 34th in the regionMost Devout: 37th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 39th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 39th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 49th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 63rd in the regionTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 69th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 71st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 86th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 94th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 102nd in the regionMost Cultured: 104th in the regionMost Developed: 105th in the regionLargest Populations: 106th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 119th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 124th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 171st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 176th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 177th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 199th in the regionMost Inclusive: 219th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 290th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 299th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 299th in the regionTop
Most Influential: 353rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 363rd in the regionMost Stationary: 420th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 603rd in the region

National Happenings

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