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The Los'onyy Soyuz of Lotion Empire

“Vozrozhdeniye | Rebirth”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The Los'onyy Soyuz of Lotion Empire is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Pavlov Iosif Privykia ''Los'on V'' with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, disturbing lack of elderly people, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 6.63 billion Lotionese are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Los'ongrad. The average income tax rate is 98.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Lotionese economy, worth a remarkable 1,905 trillion Ludons a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 287,480 Ludons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle, the army's use of chemical weapons leaves a bad taste in the mouth, weathermen are being arrested for attempting to read the future, and Lotion Empire is increasingly belligerent on the international stage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodox.

Lotion Empire is ranked 45,859th in the world and 1,945th in The North Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 4,280.24 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 24thMost Subsidized Industry: 166thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 430thMost Valuable International Artwork: 554thMost Corrupt Governments: 565thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 777thLargest Black Market: 878thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,309thMost Efficient Economies: 1,478thMost Influential: 1,693rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,712thRudest Citizens: 1,722ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,887thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,946thLargest Governments: 1,969thMost Avoided: 2,032ndLargest Mining Sector: 2,093rdHighest Average Incomes: 2,261stTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2,464thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,444thNudest: 5,777thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,254thMost Secular: 7,279thLowest Crime Rates: 7,454thHighest Economic Output: 8,069thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,462ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,526thTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 12,659thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15,413th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 21st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 25th in the regionLargest Black Market: 39th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 61st in the regionMost Avoided: 61st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 67th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 80th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 84th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 89th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 91st in the regionLargest Governments: 99th in the regionTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 105th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 109th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 109th in the regionRudest Citizens: 111th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 213th in the regionNudest: 232nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 242nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 247th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 299th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 379th in the regionMost Secular: 382nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 446th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 537th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 600th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 610th in the regionMost Influential: 653rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 779th in the regionLargest Populations: 803rd in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 210 » Solphine, Fauzjhia, ArizonaRepublic, Ihsan, Kragsgale, Prydania, Omnistria, Principia Mathematica, Runeda, Aerilia, Ethnon, Orado, Madjack, Votak Matim, Great Bights Mum, Visse, Arichia, Selfgradatude, Interdimensional Zone, Guer Aike, Hamerica, Corfad, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Kranostav, Zzozona, Dabarastan, Notyoutopia, Ardretia, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Avastate, Orogonia, Kenaniahistan, Cosmosplosion, The Endless Eventide, Andexia, Siwale, Shibutani, Cretox State, Lulubellia, New Lakemba, Westinor, Morover, Ravendi, East Akra, Sikol, Kocherian, Libertania Democratica, Noahs Second Country, Yaorozu, The Tampa Bay Rays, and 160 others.Necromonia, Koda-Land, El Fiji Grande, Imperial American Patriots, Pazair, Clan Spaniel, Eywaan, Illusia and Neverendia, Harjad, Zumlandia, Praeceps, Vincone Cae, Heilhum Imperius, Territorio di Nessuno, Sundred, Newpromisedland, Xipher, 1 very fast endotarter, Pallaith, Amerian States, Empy, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Dreadton, Dar es Saalam, U S Eh, The Iron Lions, Loutsland, WeKnow, Holy Empire Of Greater Bavaria, Jestings, New Octicarg, Healiopolis, Nouvelle-Floride, Sunto, Kartujia, Xagill, The Canadian Peoples Republic, Rimausean, Holy Oranz, McMasterdonia, Simone Republic, El Emayo, Xyrron, Lanorth, Daiz, Sil Dorsett, Frances Francis the First of France, Unsophisticate, Snottelling, Cereskia, Wineclaw, PotatoFarmers, Malta Comino Gozo, Outer Shenendoah, Kurniastan, Nuevo Navarre, Cokoland, South Baba, Shadowrik, The Rhein States, Valentine Z, North Bratislava, Chips and Guac, Glanst, Shizzy, Elvoreto, New Jamgra, Pigeonstan, Dangine, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Brucklania, Magna Banitia, The Kingdom Of Wagies, Democratic Republic of Kohland, Navsland, Innocentic, Minuda, Rozarus, Frahnkzaden, Hardscrabble, Picairn, Anungu, Ofira, Nationeer, Highton Islands, Liminyj, Yokciq Empire, Wilkshire, Sopernia, Valhalla123, Abonland, Porotia, Beaverwa, Merconitonitopia, Republica Guilleana, A Die, Loli County, Western Aurtoplethurd, The Clever Crow, A Salmon Named Harold, Neo-Ottomania, Godwanna, Cowbridge, Smesh, New Volta, The Austro Germanic Union, Bala Mantre, Zazumo, Zemper Macro, Kureizen, Boston Castle, Sisang, Tringapore, Jerzykowo, Sakusen, Miamington, Wisconsota, Draconian Progression, Zeternia, SouthCarolina, Levoth, Seanat, Viridiann, Arloria, Joodey, Venicea, Intion North, Former English Colony, Salzburg-Nassau, Pytong, Daulatpur, Pleroma Sans Romans, The Peoples Republic of Kyle, Southern Ryland, Religioncord, Lubi Islands, Seenvorland, Advancia-Sizzletown, Harmonypine, Testnation223, Bankowiata, Kazoo Basin, Ofrettia, Caffeinetopia, Maratabat, The Unified Missourtama States, Animu Place, Falgne, Brsil, Dai Nippon Yamato, United Kahndaq, Sardona, Khoik, New Judaica, Railroad Crossing, Kelvaros Prime, Ozstan, Pope Saint Peter the Apostle, PEG, and The Stratosphere Islands.