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The Los'onyy Soyuz of Lotion Empire

“Vozrozhdeniye | Rebirth”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The Los'onyy Soyuz of Lotion Empire is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Pavlov Iosif Privykia ''Los'on V'' with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, triple-decker prams, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 6.128 billion Lotionese are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Los'ongrad. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Lotionese economy, worth a remarkable 1,683 trillion Ludons a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 274,803 Ludons, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,321,255 per year while the poor average 6,015, a ratio of 385 to 1.

Surrealist houses shaped like mushrooms and volcanoes dominate the wealthiest neighborhoods, schoolchildren quote interesting facts about the square of the hypotenuse, the ban on cars has been repealed, and virtually all of the country's economic activity takes place in Los'ongrad. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodox.

Lotion Empire is ranked 9,935th in the world and 485th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 93.25 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 26thMost Subsidized Industry: 160thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 427thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 464thMost Corrupt Governments: 553rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 560thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 773rdLargest Black Market: 981stMost Efficient Economies: 1,442ndMost Avoided: 1,796thLargest Mining Sector: 1,869thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,900thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,004thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,020thTop
Largest Governments: 2,197thRudest Citizens: 2,216thMost Influential: 2,393rdHighest Average Incomes: 2,568thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,709thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,043rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,273rdNudest: 5,476thMost Secular: 7,664thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,323rdMost Primitive: 8,369thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8,447thHighest Economic Output: 9,108thLowest Crime Rates: 9,935thTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 16,558th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 21st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 24th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 27th in the regionLargest Black Market: 38th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 45th in the regionMost Avoided: 55th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 76th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 78th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 91st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 92nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 98th in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 110th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 120th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 123rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 137th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 173rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 192nd in the regionNudest: 225th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 276th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 329th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 413th in the regionMost Secular: 417th in the regionMost Primitive: 469th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 485th in the regionTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 575th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 725th in the regionMost Influential: 767th in the regionLargest Populations: 822nd in the region

National Happenings

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