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The Under-Aged Whiskey of Little St James Island

“Who’s coming tonight? ...I have 28 cases coming in!”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Caribbean

Regional Influence: Squire


The Under-Aged Whiskey of Little St James Island is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Jeffrey with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5.941 billion Little St James Islanders are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jailtime. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 28.5%.

The thriving Little St James Islander economy, worth 405 trillion privates a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 68,233 privates, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 200,798 per year while the poor average 18,255, a ratio of 11.0 to 1.

Forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies, employees who skip lunch to avoid sub-par cafeteria food risk getting fired, gay hospital patients are labelled with a pink triangle to alert staff of their substandard blood, and you need a signed affidavit from a registered psychiatrist to claim that you have crazy low prices. Crime is moderate. Little St James Island's national animal is the henchman jailkeeper, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Skinky Church of Shawskank Redemption.

Little St James Island is ranked 245,923rd in the world and 15th in Caribbean for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -8.37 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 14,096thMost Armed: 15,325thFattest Citizens: 16,518thLargest Agricultural Sector: 18,959thMost Valuable International Artwork: 19,637thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 20,101stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 20,511th
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the region

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