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The Pink Holy Christmas of Lena Meyer-Landrut

“Christmas”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Pink Holy Christmas of Lena Meyer-Landrut is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Alice Weigel with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, keen interest in outer space, and avant-garde cinema. The democratic, humorless population of 4.902 billion Germans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hannover. The average income tax rate is 93.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Lena Meyer-Landrutian economy, worth a remarkable 2,286 trillion Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 466,504 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Lena Meyer-Landrutian diplomacy is by the book, they say that Germans made a dessert and called it peace, the banshee wail foretells skies of death, and town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Lena Meyer-Landrut's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Santa or Satan.

Lena Meyer-Landrut is ranked 291,236^th in the world and 95^th in Goddess White for Lowest Crime Rates, with 19.53 law-abiding acts per hour.

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