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The Lucky Christmas Zombie of Lauds Epics

“Feeling Lucky, Punk?”

Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Good

Location: Thessalia

Regional Influence: Hermit

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Lucky Christmas Zombie of Lauds Epics is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Santa Claus with an even hand, and renowned for its ritual sacrifices, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 2.535 billion Epic Cards enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Santas Workshop. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Epic Card economy, worth 521 trillion Gold Bars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 205,912 Gold Bars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,877,281 per year while the poor average 2,520, a ratio of 744 to 1.

Depression sinks in after each election when voters realize they are stuck with these people for years, cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors, the government has little issue with allowing its citizens to languish in foreign jails, and corporations donate huge sums of money to favored politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Lauds Epics's national animal is the Wombat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christmas Cheer.

Lauds Epics is ranked 94,481st in the world and 1st in Thessalia for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 2,997.88 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 307thHighest Crime Rates: 366thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 374thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 441stLargest Gambling Industry: 449thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 468thMost Armed: 531stMost Avoided: 536thFattest Citizens: 583rdRudest Citizens: 624thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 640thMost Ignorant Citizens: 770thLargest Retail Industry: 947thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,127thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,450thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,549thMost Primitive: 1,754thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,918thMost Devout: 2,408thTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,088thMost Corrupt Governments: 3,395thLargest Mining Sector: 3,547thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,642ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,136thLargest Insurance Industry: 5,875thMost Efficient Economies: 6,165thHighest Average Incomes: 6,863rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 9,344thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 10,984thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12,246thTop
10%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 13,931stMost Subsidized Industry: 17,802nd

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