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The Sinistre Mouroir of Krippling Lament

“Μικρὸν ἀπὸ τοῦ ἡλίου μετάστηθι”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
World Benchmark
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Location: Absolution

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The Sinistre Mouroir of Krippling Lament is a colossal, cultured nation, remarkable for its lack of airports, complete lack of prisons, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.726 billion Krippled Lamentians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kosmopolis. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The large but inefficient Krippling Lamentian economy, worth 605 trillion $K☠Llars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is 90,034 $K☠Llars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers, every week is blindness awareness week, the government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits, and the new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. Crime is totally unknown. Krippling Lament's national animal is the gymnosophist, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Krippling Lament is ranked 277,761st in the world and 22nd in Absolution for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -20.63 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Nudest: 11thMost Valuable International Artwork: 958thMost Pacifist: 1,404thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,481stMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,752ndHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,830thSafest: 1,879thNicest Citizens: 1,975thMost Inclusive: 2,507thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,712thTop
Highest Drug Use: 2,840thMost Income Equality: 3,131stHighest Food Quality: 3,418thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,509thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,706thLargest Welfare Programs: 3,898thMost Cultured: 4,420thBest Weather: 4,552ndLargest Governments: 4,599thSmartest Citizens: 4,743rdHealthiest Citizens: 5,248thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,421stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,632ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,787thMost Advanced Public Education: 6,089thLongest Average Lifespans: 7,136thLowest Crime Rates: 7,162ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,324thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 11,119thLargest Publishing Industry: 12,096thTop
Most Secular: 13,953rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,831stHighest Poor Incomes: 16,189thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,653rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 22,875thMost Scientifically Advanced: 24,209thMost Politically Free: 24,239thMost Extreme: 26,857th
Most Extreme: 1st in the regionNudest: 1st in the regionMost Income Equality: 1st in the regionMost Politically Free: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the region

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