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The Halaḥa of Kosher

“That's not kosher!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Fair
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Location: Seinfeld

Regional Influence: Envoy

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The Halaḥa of Kosher is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Rabbi Hillel with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, complete lack of prisons, and avant-garde cinema. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.427 billion mashgiaḥim are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yerushalayim. The average income tax rate is 87.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The enormous but inefficient kosher economy, worth a remarkable 1,165 trillion heḥshers a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 49,765 heḥshers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers, national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings, citizens often glare angrily at jet contrails, and anyone who so much as looks at Royalty without the proper amount of deference is punished. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kosher's national animal is the kid in its mother's milk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is kashrut.

Kosher is ranked 11,158th in the world and 13th in Seinfeld for Most Stationary, with 2,188.3334258546 days.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 898thMost Primitive: 1,669thTop
5%
Safest: 5,002ndMost Pacifist: 6,776thMost Authoritarian: 7,743rdLowest Crime Rates: 8,182ndBest Weather: 8,184thHealthiest Citizens: 9,280thLargest Populations: 10,629thMost Beautiful Environments: 11,073rdMost Stationary: 11,158thMost Compassionate Citizens: 12,058thMost Conservative: 12,225thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12,358thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,734thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,612thLongest Average Lifespans: 14,176thTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 15,051stMost Influential: 15,828thLargest Governments: 15,828thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 16,019thNicest Citizens: 16,862ndMost Cultured: 18,343rdMost Patriotic: 20,943rdMost Advanced Public Education: 21,977thHighest Economic Output: 24,598thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 25,509thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 25,975thMost Valuable International Artwork: 27,414thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 29,400th
Top
5%
Most Devout: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 2nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 3rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the region

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