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The Holy Czarate of Kolvokaslavia

“Kill the shepherd and you control the flock.”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: The Alliance of Dictators

Regional Influence: Squire


The Holy Czarate of Kolvokaslavia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by the Supreme Czar Sergei Kolvoski with an iron fist, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, compulsory military service, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.199 billion Subjects are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Kolvoski City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Kolvokaslavian economy, worth a remarkable 2,272 trillion Kolvoes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 315,641 Kolvoes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,028,397 per year while the poor average 72,934, a ratio of 14.1 to 1.

Lottery winners spend most of their money on security, children are expected to carve their own toys, when shaking hands with foreign leaders the Supreme Czar Sergei Kolvoski wears an armoured gauntlet, and people are always able to look each other in the eye. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Kolvokaslavia's national animal is the Carnivorous Shrew, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Kolvoskism.

Kolvokaslavia is ranked 7,181st in the world and 14th in The Alliance of Dictators for Rudest Citizens, with 125.1 Insults Per Minute.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 276thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 390thMost Devout: 444thMost Primitive: 454thLargest Insurance Industry: 521stLargest Mining Sector: 640thLargest Retail Industry: 719thMost Avoided: 798thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 889thFattest Citizens: 916thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 990thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,055thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,076thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,126thLargest Black Market: 1,202ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,383rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,714thHighest Average Incomes: 1,802ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,813thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,061stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,197thTop
Most Conservative: 2,860thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,108thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,365thMost Efficient Economies: 4,237thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,730thLargest Gambling Industry: 5,375thLargest Governments: 6,743rdLowest Crime Rates: 6,999thHighest Economic Output: 7,115thRudest Citizens: 7,181stHighest Disposable Incomes: 8,909thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,597thTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 13,211thMost Authoritarian: 19,860thHighest Poor Incomes: 21,379th
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionTop
Most Avoided: 7th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 8th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 8th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 12th in the region

National Happenings

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