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The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead

“We will rock you”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: 10000 Islands

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by General Sebastian Bohnhead with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, compulsory military service, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, cynical population of 7.405 billion Kohnheadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kohnhead City. The average income tax rate is 96.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Kohnheadian economy, worth a remarkable 1,065 trillion Kohnheadas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 143,827 Kohnheadas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Little kids often wonder why strange grown-ups are following them around the soft play areas, attempts to inform people about their unclaimed property are often mistaken for telephone scams, corporate lawyers are switching careers to the more lucrative field of green politics, and teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohnhead's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kohnheadism.

Kohnhead is ranked 109,680th in the world and 714th in 10000 Islands for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 7,599.12 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,353rdBest Weather: 1,867thLowest Crime Rates: 2,103rdTop
Safest: 2,950thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,439thHealthiest Citizens: 3,521stLongest Average Lifespans: 3,825thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,912thLargest Welfare Programs: 4,097thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,387thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,726thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,809thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,276thLargest Governments: 5,392ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,410thNicest Citizens: 6,142ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,472ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,576thMost Pacifist: 6,649thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,993rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,763rdMost Developed: 8,846thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,896thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,740thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 11,206thHighest Food Quality: 11,280thTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 15,327thMost Inclusive: 15,436thMost Influential: 16,683rdHighest Average Incomes: 17,016thSmartest Citizens: 17,905thMost Secular: 19,471stHighest Economic Output: 19,884thHighest Poor Incomes: 19,954thMost Efficient Economies: 21,520thMost Scientifically Advanced: 25,088th
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 17th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 34th in the regionBest Weather: 45th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 59th in the regionSafest: 60th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 65th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 68th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 70th in the regionTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 76th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 78th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 83rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 84th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 86th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 93rd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 93rd in the regionLargest Governments: 94th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 109th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 112th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 117th in the regionNicest Citizens: 124th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 128th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 129th in the regionMost Pacifist: 138th in the region

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