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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Wysteria

Regional Influence: Apprentice


The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, frequent executions, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 35.835 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 31,090 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 867,611 Cuppas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,308,828 per year while the poor average 62,349, a ratio of 85.1 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 171,667th in the world and 64th in Wysteria for Least Corrupt Governments, with 1.87 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7thHighest Disposable Incomes: 7thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9thHighest Economic Output: 10thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 16thMost Scientifically Advanced: 16thHighest Average Incomes: 17thLargest Insurance Industry: 18thSmartest Citizens: 19thLargest Populations: 22ndMost Avoided: 23rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 31stLargest Mining Sector: 32ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 33rdFattest Citizens: 36thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 40thMost Armed: 44thLargest Gambling Industry: 45thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 45thRudest Citizens: 61stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 70thLargest Publishing Industry: 70thHighest Crime Rates: 75thMost Secular: 103rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 135thMost Cultured: 136thLargest Retail Industry: 174thLargest Information Technology Sector: 464thMost Corrupt Governments: 631stMost Rebellious Youth: 796thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 1,724thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,194thLargest Black Market: 2,803rdMost Influential: 5,548thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6,488thMost Pro-Market: 8,065th
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Secular: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionTop
Highest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionMost Cultured: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 7th in the region

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