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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Wysteria

Regional Influence: Apprentice


The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 35.474 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 30,777 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 867,611 Cuppas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,308,828 per year while the poor average 62,349, a ratio of 85.1 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 1,712th in the world and 19th in Wysteria for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.

Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7thHighest Disposable Incomes: 7thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9thHighest Economic Output: 10thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15thLargest Insurance Industry: 16thHighest Average Incomes: 18thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 19thSmartest Citizens: 19thLargest Populations: 22ndMost Avoided: 23rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 31stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 32ndFattest Citizens: 35thLargest Mining Sector: 36thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 40thMost Armed: 41stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 46thLargest Gambling Industry: 46thRudest Citizens: 57thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 65thLargest Publishing Industry: 70thHighest Crime Rates: 74thMost Secular: 103rdMost Cultured: 131stLargest Agricultural Sector: 135thLargest Retail Industry: 162ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 450thMost Corrupt Governments: 605thMost Rebellious Youth: 803rdTop
Most Efficient Economies: 1,712thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,017thLargest Black Market: 2,657thMost Influential: 5,450thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6,266thMost Pro-Market: 7,869th
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionMost Secular: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionMost Armed: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 6th in the regionMost Cultured: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the regionLargest Black Market: 8th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8th in the region

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