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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Wysteria

Regional Influence: Apprentice


The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and renowned for its enslaved workforce, smutty television, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 40.451 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 35,588 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,793 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,928 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 227,379th in the world and 73rd in Wysteria for Most Primitive, scoring -1367.66 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7thHighest Economic Output: 9thHighest Disposable Incomes: 10thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 15thLargest Populations: 16thLargest Insurance Industry: 17thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 17thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 19thHighest Average Incomes: 23rdSmartest Citizens: 27thMost Scientifically Advanced: 29thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 30thLargest Mining Sector: 35thMost Avoided: 39thLargest Gambling Industry: 40thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 42ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 43rdFattest Citizens: 50thMost Armed: 65thLargest Publishing Industry: 76thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 82ndHighest Crime Rates: 96thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 136thRudest Citizens: 138thMost Cultured: 184thMost Secular: 227thLargest Retail Industry: 382ndMost Rebellious Youth: 776thLargest Information Technology Sector: 781stMost Corrupt Governments: 873rdMost Efficient Economies: 1,067thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,434thLargest Black Market: 5,786thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,517thMost Influential: 7,102ndLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 7,381stTop
Most Stationary: 17,000thMost Pro-Market: 17,294thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 19,699th
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionMost Cultured: 6th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the region

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