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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Wysteria

Regional Influence: Apprentice


The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, enslaved workforce, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 42.452 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 37,349 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,794 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,938 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 273,090th in the world and 76th in Wysteria for Most Income Equality, scoring 0.1 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8thHighest Economic Output: 11thHighest Disposable Incomes: 11thLargest Populations: 15thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 15thLargest Insurance Industry: 17thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 23rdHighest Average Incomes: 26thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 31stLargest Mining Sector: 37thMost Scientifically Advanced: 39thSmartest Citizens: 40thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 44thLargest Gambling Industry: 44thMost Avoided: 45thLargest Agricultural Sector: 47thFattest Citizens: 57thMost Armed: 69thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 79thLargest Publishing Industry: 80thHighest Crime Rates: 105thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 154thRudest Citizens: 154thMost Cultured: 213thMost Secular: 245thLargest Retail Industry: 465thMost Rebellious Youth: 818thLargest Information Technology Sector: 877thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,086thMost Efficient Economies: 1,280thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,566thLargest Black Market: 5,791stMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,377thMost Influential: 7,327thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 10,022ndTop
Most Stationary: 14,512thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21,877thMost Pro-Market: 25,008th
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 6th in the regionMost Cultured: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the region

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