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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Wysteria

Regional Influence: Apprentice


The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, vat-grown people, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 38.346 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 33,736 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,793 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,928 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 8th in the world and 3rd in Wysteria for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 73,075.19 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 5thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8thHighest Economic Output: 10thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 14thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 16thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18thLargest Populations: 18thHighest Average Incomes: 20thLargest Insurance Industry: 20thSmartest Citizens: 22ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 25thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 29thMost Avoided: 30thLargest Mining Sector: 36thLargest Agricultural Sector: 40thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 42ndLargest Gambling Industry: 45thFattest Citizens: 50thMost Armed: 52ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 75thLargest Publishing Industry: 78thHighest Crime Rates: 91stRudest Citizens: 107thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 113thMost Cultured: 167thMost Secular: 175thLargest Retail Industry: 287thLargest Information Technology Sector: 662ndMost Corrupt Governments: 754thMost Rebellious Youth: 794thMost Efficient Economies: 938thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,929thLargest Black Market: 4,538thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,659thMost Influential: 6,705thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 7,876thTop
Most Pro-Market: 14,050thMost Stationary: 20,545th
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 6th in the regionMost Cultured: 6th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the region

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