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The Empire of Koem Kab


Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: The Secret Order

Regional Influence: Hermit


Koem Kab was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 287

The Empire of Koem Kab is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Great Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, aversion to nipples, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 9.585 billion Koem Kabs are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Federick City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Koem Kabian economy, worth a remarkable 8,167 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 852,069 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Promising seven years of bad luck leads to seven years of community service, phone taps are frequently carried out by the police, blind dates tend to result in bruised shins, and kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koem Kab's national animal is the porpoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Koem Kabism.

Koem Kab is ranked 33,304th in the world and 1st in The Secret Order for Largest Populations, with 9.59 billion Capita.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 1stHighest Poor Incomes: 11thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21stHighest Average Incomes: 28thMost Secular: 49thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 50thMost Subsidized Industry: 54thMost Scientifically Advanced: 64thLargest Information Technology Sector: 88thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 97thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 107thMost Efficient Economies: 111thLargest Black Market: 114thMost Corrupt Governments: 164thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 184thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 265thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 273rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 273rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 273rdMost Armed: 274thLargest Governments: 282ndLargest Mining Sector: 291stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 298thLargest Insurance Industry: 343rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 410thSmartest Citizens: 431stMost Avoided: 468thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 474thLargest Retail Industry: 484thFattest Citizens: 546thLowest Crime Rates: 723rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 735thLargest Publishing Industry: 752ndHighest Economic Output: 772ndMost Advanced Public Education: 825thHighest Average Tax Rates: 831stMost Rebellious Youth: 1,216thMost Cultured: 1,529thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,684thRudest Citizens: 2,061stTop
Most Developed: 2,597thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,358thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,186thLongest Average Lifespans: 9,229thTop
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 12,465thMost Authoritarian: 13,274thMost Stationary: 20,154thMost Influential: 20,859thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 22,104th

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