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The Holy Apostolic Church of Klopstock

“Grasp the subject, the words will follow.”

Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: 10000 Islands

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Holy Apostolic Church of Klopstock is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chancellor Friedrich with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, ritual sacrifices, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 25.357 billion Klopstockians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, pro-business individuals is primarily concerned with Education, with Healthcare and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Klopstock City. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Klopstockian economy, worth a remarkable 6,153 trillion tacoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Retail, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 242,656 tacoes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,260,538 per year while the poor average 2,339, a ratio of 966 to 1.

A three-year-old has been selected to run the civil service, belligerent citizens shoot at passing clouds for 'violating their airspace', truncheon-mounted cameras record the beating of criminals in dynamic HD detail, and patriotic citizens simply tend to applaud rather than sing the nation's praises. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Klopstock's national animal is the Lemming, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Klopstock is ranked 29,367th in the world and 634th in 10000 Islands for Most World Assembly Endorsements, with zero valid endorsements.

Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 70thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 146thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 165thHighest Crime Rates: 262ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 272ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 404thMost Armed: 406thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 436thFattest Citizens: 494thMost Avoided: 558thMost Rebellious Youth: 676thLargest Gambling Industry: 924thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,043rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,427thHighest Economic Output: 1,738thRudest Citizens: 2,001stLargest Insurance Industry: 2,123rdLargest Retail Industry: 2,179thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,202ndTop
Largest Mining Sector: 3,137thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,057thMost Scientifically Advanced: 4,270thHighest Average Incomes: 4,293rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,323rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 4,763rdLargest Populations: 5,032ndMost Stationary: 5,557thSmartest Citizens: 7,619thNudest: 8,414thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 12,202ndTop
Most Influential: 15,182ndMost Devout: 15,390thLargest Black Market: 18,742ndMost Pro-Market: 25,058th
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionMost Armed: 10th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 10th in the regionMost Avoided: 12th in the regionFattest Citizens: 12th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 14th in the regionTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 21st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 22nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 28th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 30th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 30th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 32nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 35th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 37th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 38th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 43rd in the regionLargest Populations: 45th in the regionMost Stationary: 48th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 50th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 68th in the regionNudest: 71st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 76th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 79th in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 98th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 100th in the regionLargest Black Market: 123rd in the regionMost Devout: 128th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 142nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 153rd in the region

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