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The Kingdom of Janlojaki

“Janlojaki li sewi wawa”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Thriving
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: the West Pacific

Regional Influence: Nipper

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Kingdom of Janlojaki is a huge, cultured nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 317 million Janlojakians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Spirituality. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.6%.

The thriving Janlojakian economy, worth 25.8 trillion cybertrucks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 81,511 cybertrucks, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 424,039 per year while the poor average 8,462, a ratio of 50.1 to 1.

Kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes, punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up, wanting a better life for your child is prohibited by a clause in the criminal code, and savvy nightclub-goers know that structurally unsound venues sell the cheapest drinks. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a well-funded police force. Janlojaki's national animal is the turtle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Janlojaki is ranked 291,534th in the world and 3,322nd in the West Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -5.8 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Conservative: 1,775thTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 3,680thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,569thFattest Citizens: 8,091stLargest Gambling Industry: 8,107thMost Armed: 8,810thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14,822ndLargest Retail Industry: 15,527thHighest Disposable Incomes: 15,993rdTop
10%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 22,606thMost Extreme: 30,262ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 30,829thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 31,676thMost Pro-Market: 32,396th
Top
1%
Most Conservative: 25th in the regionTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 45th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 64th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 71st in the regionMost Armed: 71st in the regionFattest Citizens: 76th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 123rd in the regionMost Extreme: 131st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 140th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 143rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 153rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 172nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Avoided: 220th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 275th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 278th in the regionMost Devout: 278th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 286th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 320th in the region

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