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The Blazing Light of Improper Classifications

“Times change, but I'll always remember”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Blazing Light of Improper Classifications is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Regent-Queen Santa Heverisk with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, sprawling nuclear power plants, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.873 billion Classifiers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Pole. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Classified economy, worth a remarkable 2,556 trillion Candy Cane Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 435,229 Candy Cane Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, and a large concrete wall is being built around the country's borders. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Improper Classifications's national animal is the blahaj, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Blahaj is Bestism.

Improper Classifications is ranked 78,474^th in the world and 2^nd in Femboy for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 3,479.34 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

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