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The Zombie Doom Snake of Gurou

“It's all over”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Zombie Doom Snake of Gurou is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Simoji with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, prohibition of alcohol, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.735 billion Gurouans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of WiyNei. The average income tax rate is 81.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Gurouan economy, worth 562 trillion Iousies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 118,752 Iousies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fat-shaming is now public policy, teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers, soldiers must key in their passwords every time they want to reload their weapons, and the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gurou's national animal is the Deadly Garden Snake, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Worship of Omnipotent Danger Noodle.

Gurou is ranked 199,990^th in the world and 8,750^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 5.41 Obesity Rate.

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