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The Dying Words of Finalanswer Archive

“I never expected to actually die.”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Dying Words of Finalanswer Archive is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by OME gal with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, state-planned economy, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 17.385 billion Zaarchiveans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lastplace. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Finalanswer Archivean economy, worth a remarkable 3,727 trillion Last Resorts a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Retail and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 214,402 Last Resorts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Zaarchiveans have replaced bears in a popular idiom, the inchworm that measured the marigolds is six feet under, devout parents encourage their children to play on the street, and anti-environmentalist dissidents must beware of government plants in their midst. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Finalanswer Archive's national animal is the Terminal Zebra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Nihilism.

Finalanswer Archive is ranked 1,001^st in the world and 7^th in Forest for Largest Black Market, with 6,139 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

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