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“Stop. It's hammer time.”

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The Allied States of Figlandia is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ancepsinfans with a fair hand, and notable for its avant-garde cinema, smutty television, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.17 billion Figs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bushnell. The average income tax rate is 78.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Figgish economy, worth 611 trillion Shabbatzes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 99,066 Shabbatzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Feeling like a winner comes at a price, the law is more interested in punishing crime than preventing it, Ancepsinfans is called 'Patches' at international summits, and economists claim no news is good news. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Figlandia's national animal is the Corkadrew, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Figlandia is ranked 211,438^th in the world and 3,455^th in the South Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 245.69 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.