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The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael

“בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎”

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, rampant corporate plagiarism, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 22.939 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 18,839 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 821,300 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,661,314 per year while the poor average 7,787, a ratio of 983 to 1.

The SWAT team always rings twice, chicken farmers must rise before the sun every day to gag their cockerels, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, and private businesses are paving paradises to put up parking lots. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 629th in the world and 23rd in The North Pacific for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 104,997.57 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

Rudest Citizens: 3rdFattest Citizens: 4thLargest Retail Industry: 6thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6thMost Avoided: 7thLargest Gambling Industry: 8thMost Corrupt Governments: 9thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13thHighest Disposable Incomes: 17thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 18thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 19thMost Secular: 20thMost Efficient Economies: 24thMost Armed: 31stLargest Insurance Industry: 34thHighest Crime Rates: 34thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 40thHighest Average Incomes: 42ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 42ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 46thMost Scientifically Advanced: 48thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 55thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 66thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 67thLargest Mining Sector: 82ndHighest Economic Output: 117thLargest Agricultural Sector: 152ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 216thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 629thLargest Information Technology Sector: 844thMost Pro-Market: 1,410thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,280thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,911thLargest Governments: 3,018thMost Stationary: 3,197thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6,773rdLargest Populations: 6,875thMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,863rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,550thLargest Black Market: 8,617thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,220thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,909thSmartest Citizens: 10,319thMost Influential: 12,777thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 18,683rdHighest Drug Use: 25,419th
Largest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 8th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 23rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 46th in the regionMost Stationary: 73rd in the regionLargest Populations: 83rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 102nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 102nd in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 146th in the regionLargest Black Market: 205th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 301st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 303rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 347th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 411th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 484th in the regionTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 542nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 547th in the region

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