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The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael

“בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, conspicuous electricity pylons, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 19.479 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 14,620 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 750,592 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,001,654 per year while the poor average 7,117, a ratio of 983 to 1.

Economists claim no news is good news, EretzIsraelian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, it is said that an EretzIsraelian woman's work is never done, and EretzIsraelian TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 20,227^th in the world and 433^rd in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 110.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

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