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The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael

“בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎”

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, conspicuous electricity pylons, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 19.479 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 14,620 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 750,592 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,001,654 per year while the poor average 7,117, a ratio of 983 to 1.

Economists claim no news is good news, EretzIsraelian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, it is said that an EretzIsraelian woman's work is never done, and EretzIsraelian TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 20,227th in the world and 433rd in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 110.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Rudest Citizens: 1stLargest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 6thMost Avoided: 7thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8thMost Corrupt Governments: 9thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 13thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 17thMost Secular: 18thLargest Gambling Industry: 20thHighest Disposable Incomes: 25thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 25thLargest Insurance Industry: 32ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 36thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 41stHighest Average Incomes: 54thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 56thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 61stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 68thLargest Mining Sector: 79thMost Scientifically Advanced: 83rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 86thMost Armed: 92ndMost Efficient Economies: 93rdHighest Crime Rates: 100thLargest Agricultural Sector: 167thHighest Economic Output: 179thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 218thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 695thLargest Information Technology Sector: 918thTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,857thMost Stationary: 3,578thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,919thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,434thLargest Governments: 5,675thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6,519thLargest Populations: 7,370thLargest Black Market: 7,838thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,904thTop
Most Influential: 11,793rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,563rdLargest Publishing Industry: 13,644thSmartest Citizens: 14,332ndMost Pro-Market: 14,477thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 19,187thHighest Drug Use: 20,227th
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 8th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 55th in the regionMost Stationary: 82nd in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 112th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 160th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 203rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 205th in the regionLargest Governments: 300th in the regionLargest Black Market: 317th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 411th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 417th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 433rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 460th in the regionTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 525th in the regionNudest: 664th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 689th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 784th in the region

National Happenings

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