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The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael

“בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, otherworldly petting zoo, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 28.411 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 25,688 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 904,160 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,434,365 per year while the poor average 8,571, a ratio of 984 to 1.

Leader's recent "I have a dream that we will fight them by raking muck on the beaches" speech seems a little derivative to many, citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in EretzIsrael, and crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 16,826^th in the world and 231^st in The North Pacific for Largest Black Market, with 256 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

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