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The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael

“בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Minnow

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The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, pith helmet sales, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 20.449 billion EretzIsraelians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 15,796 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 772,477 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,205,821 per year while the poor average 7,325, a ratio of 983 to 1.

Piracy is the nation's most popular pastime, parties on cruise ships go off with a real bang, EretzIsraelian farm salmon are known for being both horribly diseased and remarkably acrobatic, and citizens are expected to be armed at all times. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

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