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The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael

“בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with an even hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, public floggings, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 18.803 billion EretzIsraelians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 13,863 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 737,311 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,906,656 per year while the poor average 6,625, a ratio of 1,042 to 1.

People believe that if you teach a man to fish he won't buy fish from you any more, farmers' market days almost always end in a shooting, the nation is in perpetual campaign mode, and social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 7^th in the world and 1^st in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 99.35 Obesity Rate.

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