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The United Communist States of Elizbastan

“Fight for the future, destroy the invader!”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The United Communist States of Elizbastan is a massive, safe nation, ruled by General Secretary Constantine Martin with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, triple-decker prams, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.584 billion Elizbastanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nilatsgrad. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Elizbastanian economy, worth 277 trillion Elizbastan Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 175,386 Elizbastan Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The army's use of chemical weapons leaves a bad taste in the mouth, the government supplies ragtag bands of resistance fighters in exchange for vague promises of future payment, millions of simultaneously backfiring toilets have flooded Nilatsgrad with effluent, and the nation won three wars against Brancaland this weekend. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elizbastan's national animal is the Orca, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Elizbastan is ranked 5,164^th in the world and 135^th in the Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 144,943.65 Standard Monetary Units.

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