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The Free State of Eli

“Eli's Coming”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the West Pacific

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The Free State of Eli is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Eli Hutton with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, keen interest in outer space, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 42.523 billion Elians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eli City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Elian economy, worth a remarkable 9,409 trillion New Merits a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an amazing 221,284 New Merits, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,047,140 per year while the poor average 27,660, a ratio of 37.9 to 1.

Journalists often nap through tedious police press briefings, women don't report crimes to the emergency services for fear of being arrested, fruit vendors are encouraging a life of crime in their advertising, and on streets of broken glass people are being murdered for their faith. Crime is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Eli's national animal is the squirrel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Eli is God.

Eli is ranked 83,475th in the world and 741st in the West Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 24.19 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Largest Populations: 9thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 301stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 405thHighest Economic Output: 699thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,044thHighest Crime Rates: 1,052ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,165thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,296thFattest Citizens: 1,570thMost Avoided: 1,643rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,784thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,964thLargest Mining Sector: 1,976thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,221stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,227thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,350thTop
Largest Insurance Industry: 3,023rdMost Armed: 3,071stLargest Publishing Industry: 3,087thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,909thHighest Average Incomes: 5,620thLargest Retail Industry: 5,858thRudest Citizens: 6,935thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,600thMost Devout: 8,638thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,833rdMost Efficient Economies: 8,960thSmartest Citizens: 10,076thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,790thMost Stationary: 12,673rdTop
Most Influential: 16,801stLargest Black Market: 17,622ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 18,027thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 20,654thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 21,985thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22,734thMost Pro-Market: 24,212th
Largest Populations: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 11th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 15th in the regionMost Avoided: 20th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 20th in the regionFattest Citizens: 23rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 23rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 24th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 26th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 28th in the regionTop
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 30th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 32nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 34th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 35th in the regionMost Armed: 41st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 50th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 57th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 60th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 88th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 93rd in the regionMost Devout: 107th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 111th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 115th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 135th in the regionRudest Citizens: 135th in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 155th in the regionLargest Black Market: 161st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 163rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 183rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 191st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 250th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 252nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 261st in the region

National Happenings

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