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The Holy Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland


Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: The Glorious Nations of Iwaku

Regional Influence: Squire


The Holy Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Egglin Gaylord with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, zero percent divorce rate, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.884 billion Bums are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality and Administration also on the agenda, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bum City. The average income tax rate is 70.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Drunkerlandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,521 trillion Bird Droppings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 319,861 Bird Droppings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Expectant parents view twins with equal parts joy and suspicion, explosive diarrhoea is not just a colorful phrase, CSI Forest is this year's hit new crime show, and survivors receive aid from only the most environmentally-friendly transport. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Drunkerland's national animal is the Drunk Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Communism.

Drunkerland is ranked 98,891st in the world and 153rd in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Most Stationary, with 187.0461650126 days.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 32ndMost Primitive: 33rdMost Devout: 47thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 111thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 145thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 148thMost Avoided: 180thFattest Citizens: 208thMost Corrupt Governments: 227thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 248thMost Armed: 303rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 392ndLargest Mining Sector: 559thHighest Crime Rates: 633rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 820thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 834thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,197thLargest Black Market: 1,293rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,304thHighest Average Incomes: 1,911thMost Patriotic: 2,120thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,187thTop
Rudest Citizens: 6,338thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,664thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,684thHighest Economic Output: 7,194thNudest: 7,444thLargest Governments: 8,713thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,466thMost Authoritarian: 9,605thLargest Retail Industry: 9,659thTop
Most Conservative: 18,265thMost Influential: 19,001stMost Efficient Economies: 19,095thMost Subsidized Industry: 19,646th
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 5th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 8th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 12th in the regionLargest Black Market: 12th in the regionNudest: 15th in the regionMost Patriotic: 15th in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 19th in the regionMost Conservative: 22nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 25th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 28th in the regionMost Extreme: 30th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 31st in the region

National Happenings

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