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The Holy Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland

“MOO”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Holy Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Egglin Gaylord with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, zero percent divorce rate, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.884 billion Bums are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality and Administration also on the agenda, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bum City. The average income tax rate is 70.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Drunkerlandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,521 trillion Bird Droppings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 319,861 Bird Droppings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Expectant parents view twins with equal parts joy and suspicion, explosive diarrhoea is not just a colorful phrase, CSI Forest is this year's hit new crime show, and survivors receive aid from only the most environmentally-friendly transport. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Drunkerland's national animal is the Drunk Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Communism.

Drunkerland is ranked 98,891^st in the world and 153^rd in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Most Stationary, with 187.0461650126 days.

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