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The Holly Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland


Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: The Glorious Nations of Iwaku

Regional Influence: Page


The Holly Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Egglin Gaylord with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.269 billion Bums are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bum City. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Drunkerlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,834 trillion Bird Droppings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 348,113 Bird Droppings, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces, tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments, the public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape, and faking deafness is the only way to guarantee a holiday in the nation. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Drunkerland's national animal is the Drunk Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Communism.

Drunkerland is ranked 46th in the world and 1st in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Most Primitive, scoring 774.36 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Most Primitive: 46thMost Ignorant Citizens: 54thMost Devout: 78thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 133rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 189thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 202ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 208thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 224thFattest Citizens: 248thMost Armed: 276thMost Corrupt Governments: 330thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 365thMost Avoided: 397thLargest Mining Sector: 453rdHighest Crime Rates: 540thLargest Black Market: 1,036thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,124thHighest Average Incomes: 1,282ndTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,883rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,054thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,056thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,343rdLargest Governments: 4,502ndRudest Citizens: 4,555thNudest: 4,622ndLargest Retail Industry: 5,349thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,380thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,189thMost Efficient Economies: 6,257thHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,591stHighest Economic Output: 9,268thTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 14,434thMost Authoritarian: 15,170thMost Stationary: 21,571stMost Influential: 22,783rd
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 5th in the regionNudest: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 8th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 9th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Black Market: 10th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12th in the regionTop
Largest Retail Industry: 26th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 30th in the regionRudest Citizens: 30th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 31st in the regionMost Stationary: 34th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 35th in the regionLargest Governments: 36th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 38th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 41st in the region

National Happenings

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