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The Holly Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland

“MOO”

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The Holly Red Drunken Tyranny of Drunkerland is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Egglin Gaylord with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.269 billion Bums are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bum City. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Drunkerlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,834 trillion Bird Droppings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 348,113 Bird Droppings, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces, tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments, the public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape, and faking deafness is the only way to guarantee a holiday in the nation. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Drunkerland's national animal is the Drunk Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Communism.

Drunkerland is ranked 46^th in the world and 1^st in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Most Primitive, scoring 774.36 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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