March 1st, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 41st in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.14 on the Human Development Index.
• Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #0304
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #0419
• The nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. #0807
• Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #0672
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March 2nd, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 14,346th in the world and 887th in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 6 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
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March 3rd, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 70th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 8,642.32 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
• There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #0138
• There is a dearth of space for new houses. #0331
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Best Weather.
• The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #0644
• Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #0239
• Fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home. #0920
• Park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. #0749
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March 4th, 2018

• Psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Queen Arbeaone to meetings with foreign heads of state. #0915
• The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #0636
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #0081

March 6th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 718th in the world and 16th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 99.06 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
• Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #0093
• The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #0064
• The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #0581
• Where there's a will there is usually a password manager. #0926
• Every workday begins with group therapy. #0496
• Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants. #0576

March 8th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 137th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 226.06 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.
• The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #0385
• Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #0719
• Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Divine Cervine. #0922
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March 9th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 39th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 36,578.44 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
• Students cut up leftover ¤ luminous orbs during Arts and Crafts. #0273
• Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #0053
• The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #0222
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March 10th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 400th in the world and 10th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 255.26 Quips Per Hour.
• Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #0440
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March 11th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 418th in the world and 12th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 235,361.78 Standard Monetary Units.
• Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #0540
• The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #0768
• The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #0185
• Citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government. #0283
• Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #0415
• Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #0675

March 12th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 10,152nd in the world and 216th in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 1,027.7076756 Days.
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March 13th, 2018

• Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #0758
• High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #0504
• It is against the rules of boxing to hit above or below the belt. #0925
• Ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward. #0728
• Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #0600
• Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #0047

March 15th, 2018

• An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #0577
• Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #0062
• Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #0663

March 16th, 2018

• Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #0601
• The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #0261
• The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #0507
• The government spends millions of ¤ luminous orbs every year prosecuting spammers. #0094

March 17th, 2018

• A blood-red mark on the doorframe means a building must be passed over for destruction. #0934
• The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #0275
• Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #0523
• In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #0625

March 18th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 30th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 238.96 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
• Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #0803
• The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #0551
• Supervisors in Divine Cervine commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. #0732
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
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March 19th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 352nd in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 426 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
• The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #0720
• Attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high. #0932 Increases Wealth Gaps 1.00 → 1.01, Economic Freedom -99.67 → -99.11, decreases Income Equality 99.68 → 99.16
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March 20th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 134th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 20,406.01 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
• One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. #0937
• Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #0613
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March 21st, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 16th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 29,100.13 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
• There are no more heroes any more. #0935
• The nation's leading climatologists are investigating animal flatulence in efforts to reduce methane emissions. #0495
• Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #0670
• Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #0642
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March 23rd, 2018

• Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #0097
• Glamping Divine Deerlings won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. #0706
• There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #0733
• Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #0721
• The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #0589
• Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #0431
• Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #0276

March 24th, 2018

• Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets. #0785

March 25th, 2018

• The nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies. #0942 increases Economic Freedom -99.11 → -98.56, lowers Income Equality 99.16 → 98.64
• Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #0689
• Anti-government web sites are springing up. #0037
• The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #0448
• Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #0518

March 26th, 2018

• Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #0099
• Divine Cervine gained the banner Export Sales by developing a thriving industry.
• The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #0152
• The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
• The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #0653
• The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #0633

March 27th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 41st in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 167.48 Average Smiles Per Day.
• Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #0638
• Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend. #0765
• In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #0503
• Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #0449
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March 29th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 38th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 44,059.72 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.
• Grumbling early morning commuters bemoan having to travel to work in the dark. #0821
• The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #0135
• The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #0342
• Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #0897
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March 30th, 2018

• Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #0353
• Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #0364
• Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #0490
• RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #0624

March 31st, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 7,188th in the world and 342nd in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,488 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
• Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #0491
• Farting etiquette is taught in schools. #0946
• The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #0637
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April 1st, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 10th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 686.57 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
• Purple fairy deer have more rights than the average citizen. #0060
• Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #0773
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April 2nd, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 454th in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 98.18 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
• Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #0573
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April 3rd, 2018

• High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #0018
• Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #0164
• Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #0548
• Tourists need only sign on the dotted line to become citizens. #0292 increases Death Rate 14.94 → 14.95 +0.07%, decreases Tourism 4,820.67 → 4,818.25 -0.05%? Try option 3

April 5th, 2018

• Youth call each other types of vegetables in lieu of government-banned racial insults. #0767
• School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #0501
• Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #0565
• Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security. #0950
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #0293
• A new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. #0324
• Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #0263

April 6th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 154th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 199.27 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
• Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
• Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #0066
• Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience. #0583 increases Inclusiveness but also Death Rate 14.93 → 14.94 +0.07%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #0061

April 7th, 2018

• Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #0616
• Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #0659
• Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. #0371 dismiss? only lowers Secularism 96.27 → 96.16 -0.11%
• Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #0493

April 8th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 38th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 44,200.81 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.
• Suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks. #0457
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April 10th, 2018

• The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #0035
• Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. #0699
• An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #0218
• Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #0675
• Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #0205

April 12th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed.
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens.
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist.
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments.
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans.
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens.
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April 13th, 2018

• The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #0275
• The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #0252
• The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #0547
• Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #0071
• The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #0763
• Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork. #0849
• Newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. #0798

April 15th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 264th in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 96.72 Workforce Participation Rate.
• Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #0149
• Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #0630
• Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #0525
• Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #0415
• No one is quite sure what many government officials look like. #0852

April 16th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 5,672nd in the world and 256th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 15,991.28 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
• Arbitration is mightier than the sword. #0131
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #0590
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April 18th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 384th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 260.58 Quips Per Hour.
• People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #0092
• National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #0297
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April 19th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 67th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 1,641 Meters Of Sunlight.
• Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #0709
• Organ donation is compulsory. #0026
• Fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home. #0920
• The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #0776
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed

April 20th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 89th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 106.21 Effective Tax Rate.
• The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #0145
• The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #0963
• Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #0505
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April 21st, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 216th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 92.29 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #0598
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #0198
• People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #0056
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April 23rd, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 13,806th in the world and 337th in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 2,136 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
• Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #0786
• Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #0053
• Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #0685
• 3D printed organs are a breath of new life for the sick and elderly. #0850
• Pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty. #0858
• Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #0626
• Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #0543
• Divine Cervine gained the banner Mother and Child by eliminating youth crime while maintaining civil rights.

April 25th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 144th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 200.56 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
• Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #0800
• Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #0756
• The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #0677
• The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. #0912
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• While effusively praising Divine Cervine’s leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more “modernistic” view in the future. #011 dismissed

April 26th, 2018

• Divine Cervine is ranked 37th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 37,608.14 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
• Turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'. #0510
• Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #0834
• Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. #0959
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April 29th, 2018

• Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #0654
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #0419
• The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #0462
• Police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds. #0907
• Light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment. #0968 maybe just dismiss, increases Educations but lowers Cheerfulness

April 30th, 2018

• The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #0135
• Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Divine Cervine. #0922
• The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #0341
• The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. #0908
• Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2018 May - June" (Factbook: History).