The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2016 November - December

November 1st, 2016

• The Divine Cervine national animal has changed to "purple fairy deer".
• Almost all of Divine Cervine's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264
• The nation is ravaged by daily union strikes. #016
• Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
• High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.

November 2nd, 2016

• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Nudest.
• The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
• Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
• People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #056
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November 3rd, 2016

• A primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world. #129
• Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304
• Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431

November 4th, 2016

• The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #036
• The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226

November 5th, 2016

• Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "Love and peace!" as a way of life. #190
• An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577
• The government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. #243 lowers Intelligence 156.00 → 155.78 -0.14%, Civil Rights 72.67 → 70.90 -2.4%
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists.
• Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #415

November 6th, 2016

• Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads. #148 lowers Intelligence 156.29 → 156.01 -0.18%, Civil Rights 70.90 → 68.67 -3.1%
• Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #573
• The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #029 raises Inclusiveness 412.28 → 413.49 +0.29%, lowers Civil Rights 68.67 → 67.90 -1.1%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• The number of students attending university has reached a record high. #209 raises (only slightly) Death Rate 17.56 → 17.57 +0.06%

November 7th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 3,003rd in the world and 144th in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 51 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
• Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
• Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• Organ donation is compulsory. #026 lowers Civil Rights 68.90 → 67.95 -1.4%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.

November 8th, 2016

• Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
• Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364

November 9th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 180th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 31,270.3 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.
• The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #341 slightly lowers Civil Rights 68.38 → 68.24 -0.20%
• The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #064
• RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
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November 10th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 8,953rd in the world and 359th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 273.4 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
• Breast milk is being redistributed from each according to their ability to each according to their need. #446
• Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
• Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
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November 11th, 2016

• Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #061
• Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047
• There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
• Raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing. #597
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

November 12th, 2016

• Educators and parents alike are allowing children to view the internet again after violent videos were purged. #550 Civil Rights 69.05 → 67.57 -2.1%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• Only toddlers and the elderly watch television before 23:00. #303 lowers Civil Rights 67.57 → 66.14 -2.1%
• Extreme political groups are outlawed. #012 increases Corruption 0.48→0.50 +4.2%, Rudeness 6.38→6.51 +2.0%, lowers Integrity 95.52→95.34 -0.19%, Safety 154.14→153.69 -0.29%, Political Freedom 69.43→64.67 -6.9%
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• Workers have seized control of the economy. #339

November 13th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,200th in the world and 50th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 164,303.17 Standard Monetary Units.
• Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
• Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
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November 14th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,198th in the world and 49th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 164,303.17 Standard Monetary Units.
• Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #522
• Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626
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November 15th, 2016

• Businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders. #305
• Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #263

November 16th, 2016

• Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
• Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. #365
• People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
• The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222

November 17th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 193rd in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 294.02 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
• The number of students attending university has reached a record high. #209
• Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630
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November 18th, 2016

• People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #092

November 19th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,457th in the world and 59th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 159.32 Quips Per Hour.
• Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #099
• The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
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November 20th, 2016

• The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #628
• Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided. #359

November 21st, 2016

• The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
• Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321

November 22nd, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 142nd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 154.8 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
• Citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages. #115
• The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
• In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
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November 23rd, 2016

• Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
• The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
• Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548

November 24th, 2016

• Queen Arbeaone's mistress is the belle at many state balls. #417 only effect is increase in Rudeness 6.50 → 6.52 +0.31%
• The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The The Enchanted Wildwood of Sacred Fauna Times is sold out. #275

November 25th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 192nd in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 295.8 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
• Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. #371
• Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #069
• The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462
• Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638

November 26th, 2016

• Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #097
• All forms of advertising are banned. #104
• A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #031

November 27th, 2016

• Breast milk is being redistributed from each according to their ability to each according to their need. #446
• Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440

November 28th, 2016

• Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes. #200
• The constant playing of Merry Birthday on Divine Cervinean radio has led to calls for the song to be classified as a crime against humanity. #500
• Sections of the police receive paramilitary training. #455

November 29th, 2016

• Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "Love and peace!" as a way of life. #190
• Citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government. #283
• The nation now has 100% Income Equality.
• 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past. #639
• The nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens. #378

November 30th, 2016

• The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #637
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419

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December 1st, 2016

• Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164
• A new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. #324
• An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577

December 2nd, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 3,091st in the world and 127th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 10,126.05 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
• The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
• The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
• Citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. #251
• Anti-government web sites are springing up. #037
• Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338

December 3rd, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 2,586th in the world and 122nd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 7,809.62 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
• Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
• Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #071
• Heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste. #156
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December 4th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 143rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 156.19 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
• Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
• The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.
• Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642

December 5th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 2,780th in the world and 119th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 95.54 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
• The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
• There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
• An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
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December 6th, 2016

• The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222
• The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
• Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #525

December 7th, 2016

• Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #061

December 8th, 2016

• Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
• Artists are pillars of society. #124
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.

December 9th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 764th in the world and 23rd in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 99.88 Effective Tax Rate.
• Divine Cervine's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. #237
• The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185 This is the third time this week that I have had this issue.
• The nation is ravaged by daily union strikes. #016
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December 11th, 2016

• The Divine Cervinean Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances. #478

December 12th, 2016

• Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
• In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
• Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579
• Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #053
• Military funding has been stripped back. #014

December 13th, 2016

• Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419
• Most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. #167

December 14th, 2016

• The government is using tax revenues to provide jobs for the poor. #255
• The mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations. #049
• Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #601
• The new classical revitalization of The Enchanted Wildwood of Sacred Fauna is expected to be completed sometime in the next century. #643
• Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed

December 15th, 2016

• Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #205 lowers Civil Rights 64.62 → 61.24 -5.2%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.
• Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #093
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st for having The Largest Welfare Programs in Lazarus.
• Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239

December 16th, 2016

• Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
• Divine Cervine's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region. #013 increases Rudeness 6.40 → 6.42 +0.31%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.
• The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #385
• The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644

December 17th, 2016

• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.
• Foreign nations kill migratory animals at random in the hope that Divine Cervine will pay them to stop. #647
• The nation's leading climatologists are investigating animal flatulence in efforts to reduce methane emissions. #495
• Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047

December 18th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 9,000th in the world and 357th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 278.12 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
• Most citizens in Divine Cervine are abject pyrophobes after extremely graphic pamphlets were mailed nationwide by the government. #247
• In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
• Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
• Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505

December 19th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 757th in the world and 26th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 79.47 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #099 increases Industry: Book Publishing -2.21 → 308.23 +14,050%
• The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
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December 20th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 2,143rd in the world and 69th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 83.01 Atheism Rate.
• Scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied purple fairy deer. #033
• The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269 increases Industry: Book Publishing 308.14 → 1,534.35 +398%
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December 21st, 2016

• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.
• Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
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December 22nd, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 236th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5,239.92 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
• Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #415
• Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
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December 24th, 2016

• People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
• Doctors prescribe medicines but they rarely dispense hope or compassion. #608 lowers Niceness 106.32 → 106.22 -0.09%, Compassion 158.96 → 158.81 -0.09%, Civil Rights 64.14 → 63.33 -1.3%
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Very Good to Good.
• The mob and the police have recently had numerous clashes in the back alleys of Divine Cervine's cities due to the government's steadfast anti-casino stance. #108

December 25th, 2016

• The government raises tariffs on a weekly basis. #649
• Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122
• Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for having The Largest Welfare Programs.

December 26th, 2016

• Businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders. #305
• The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198
• People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #092

December 27th, 2016

• The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #385
• Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Good to Very Good.
• The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448

December 28th, 2016

• Divine Cervine is ranked 741st in the world and 25th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 79.67 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. #365
• The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
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December 29th, 2016

• Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598
• Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
• Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632

December 30th, 2016

• Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
• The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
• The government funds large training centres to turn purple fairy deer into functioning members of society. #133

December 31st, 2016

• The arms industry has been shut down in a surge of pacifism. #137
• Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes. #200
• There has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates. #088
• Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 January - February" (Factbook: History).