October 2nd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 448th in the world and 19th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 16,976.48 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
• The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
• Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #786
• Animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs. #502
• Enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity. #1062
• Stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry. #943
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Average to Below Average.
• RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Below Average to Average.

October 4th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 4,511th in the world and 257th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
• Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
• Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security. #950
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Average to Below Average.
• Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #415
• The police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes. #648
• Glamping Divine Deerlings won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. #706
• The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589

October 5th, 2019

• Citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones. #1164
• The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #35
• Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556

October 7th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 41,328.75 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
• Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #62
• A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #31
• Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #667
• Vaccinations are mandatory. #413
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October 9th, 2019

• Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #61
• Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• The national policy for Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.

October 10th, 2019

• Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #830
• There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'. #128
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Below Average to Average.
• Bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination". #759
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.

October 11th, 2019

• Radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion. #219

October 12th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 32nd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 2,346 Meters Of Sunlight.
• Nobody looks each other in the eye at neighborhood block parties any more. #1270
• The government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap. #1100
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October 13th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 264th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 100 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
• Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518
• Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #756
• Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork. #849
• Schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention. #1251
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October 14th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 12th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 100.01 on the Human Development Index.
• School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501
• The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #29
• Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #71
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October 15th, 2019

• There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
• The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677
• Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends. #880
• Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642

October 17th, 2019

• Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
• Artists are pillars of society. #124
• An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
• Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets. #785
• There's a bright dawn ahead for Divine Cervine. #821

October 18th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,955th in the world and 77th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 25,526.22 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
• Prudishness is on the way out. #411
• 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners. #892
• The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
• There's never enough space in space. #754
• Construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. #249

October 19th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 10,173rd in the world and 578th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 378.33 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
• Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
• Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life. #190
• Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
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October 20th, 2019

• Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants. #576
• A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #83
• The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
• Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638

October 22nd, 2019

• The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
• Farting etiquette is taught in schools. #946
• It can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom. #1217
• Economic planning is exalted as a human art form. #472
• There are no more heroes any more. #935

October 23rd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 212th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 555 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
• The reams of paperwork accompanying any electronic item are a recognised contributor to national deforestation. #890
• Prolonged government investigations are a common revenge tactic among spurned spouses. #836
• The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #507
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October 25th, 2019

• Astronauts take one small step for Divine Cervine and one giant step backward from confrontation. #1244
• Nouveau riche farmers diligently take care of their golden calf herds. #1075
• Tourists outnumber citizens two to one. #292
• The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #856

October 26th, 2019

• The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #720
• Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
• UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #81

October 27th, 2019

• The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135
• Youth call each other types of vegetables in lieu of government-banned racial insults. #767
• The government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen. #1093
• The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #252

October 28th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,904.85 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.
• The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
• There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #739
• Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. #959
• 3D printed organs are a breath of new life for the sick and elderly. #850
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October 29th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 7th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 898.43 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
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October 30th, 2019

• Modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes. #1248
• Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten. #1023
• The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462
• The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #768
• A zombie apocalypse has befallen upon the nation. NationStates-Z⁸
• Divine Cervine is currently researching a cure for the infectious virus causing its victims to display aggressive, flesh-eating behavior.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Zombies.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Zombified.
• Films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay. #1090
• Politicians have seen a significant reduction in followers on their social media accounts. #992

October 31st, 2019

• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Dead.
• A zombie apocalypse continues to ravage the nation.
• Divine Cervine is unable to continue its efforts to research a cure due to a lack of survivors.
• Rebuilding efforts for a recently destroyed cathedral aren't expected to be completed for another century. #1271
• All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #701
• Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164
• The zombie apocalypse has ended.

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November 1st, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,018th in the world and 58th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,480.07 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
• The seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire. #995
• Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #685
• Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #811
• Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579
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November 2nd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 30th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 11,900.29 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
• Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
• The government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds. #976
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November 3rd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 174th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 341.44 Quips Per Hour.
• Small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. #1012
• Ten-year-olds are applying for lemonade stand operator licences. #772
• Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598
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November 5th, 2019

• The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
• People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #92
• Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
• Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #47

November 6th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 45th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 295.61 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.
• Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
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November 7th, 2019

• Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
• Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364
• The government spends millions of ¤ luminous orbs every year prosecuting spammers. #94
• Hordes of tourists are ruining the environment. #1086

November 9th, 2019

• Traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers. #1028
• Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122
• Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication. #1289
• Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
• Feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary. #1175

November 10th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 18th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 6,037.76 Tourists Per Hour.
• Park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. #749
• Shady doctors seem to have impeccable records. #1239
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November 12th, 2019

• The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
• Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. #699
• Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Enchanted Wildwood Natural History Museum. #655
• The nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard. #1154

November 14th, 2019

• Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
• Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
• Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
• Therapists can always squeeze in another house-call. #1049

November 15th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 4,698th in the world and 269th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
• Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have. #1092
• The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590 dismiss lowers Health 63.49 → 63.45
• Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #719
• Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience. #583

November 17th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,003rd in the world and 48th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,474.61 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
• The nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. #807
• The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #3
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Average to Good.
• People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #56
• Television characters who ask how someone's doing are charged with harassment. #1077
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Good to Average.
• Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338
• Older citizens lament over the loss of law and order. #1237
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Average to Good.

November 18th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 10,059th in the world and 560th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 383.43 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419
• Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #23
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November 20th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 62nd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 23,966.11 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
• Bins outnumber trees in city parks. #1007
• There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #733
• The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261
• Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
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November 21st, 2019

• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
• There's nothing more gay than bleeding for your nation. #1214
• Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #66
• Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
• Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
• The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Good to Average.

November 22nd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 14th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 454.71 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
• The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
• Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
• Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #613
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November 24th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,851st in the world and 74th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 26,643.96 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
• Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #897
• High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
• Scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. #999
• Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-¤ luminous orb mansions. #127
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November 26th, 2019

• Children usually cry on their first day of school. #1128
• The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185
• Psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Queen Arbeaone to meetings with foreign heads of state. #915
• In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
• Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #99
• High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #18
• Almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264

November 27th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 7th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 907.85 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
• Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #654
• If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Divine Cervinean satellites can detect it. #1099
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November 29th, 2019

• Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
• Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
• Polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums. #1201
• Community centers have arisen from the ashes of demolished houses of worship. #914
• Helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage. #1073
• Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630

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December 1st, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 211th in the world and 10th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 98.89 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
• Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
• Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600
• The volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose. #1058
• Divine Cervine altered its national flag.
• Divine Cervine changed its national motto from "Tomorrow hasn't been so terrible" to "Where the deer’s swift leap startles the wild bee".
• Divine Cervine changed its national animal from "purple fairy deer" to "iridescent-winged purple peryton".
• Divine Cervine gained the banner Red Dawn by revering a land-based animal.

December 2nd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 93rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 98.23 Workforce Participation Rate.
• Iridescent-winged purple perytons have more rights than the average citizen. #60
• Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #93
• Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #721
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December 4th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 7,486th in the world and 151st in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 1,659.70727112 Days.
• Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #663
• Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #97
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December 5th, 2019

• Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Divine Cervine. #922
• Hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework. #910
• Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
• Drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web. #902

December 7th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 564th in the world and 20th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 99.15 Atheism Rate.
• In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
• Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #803
• Male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed. #1135
• Children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work. #1117
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December 9th, 2019

• There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
• The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644
• All the playground's a stage for Divine Cervinean schoolchildren. #984
• The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
• The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222

December 13th, 2019

• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
• Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #492
• The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
• Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
• Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #263
• Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
• An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577

December 14th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 65th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 24,056.32 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
• One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. #937
• No one is quite sure what many government officials look like. #852
• The bourgeoisie are asked nicely to hand over the means of production. #1283
• Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #675
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December 15th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 245th in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 303,095.16 Standard Monetary Units.
• It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #813
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December 17th, 2019

• There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
• Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #670
• Where there's a will there is usually a password manager. #926
• Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276

December 19th, 2019

• All citizens must pass a 'multicultural sensitivity test' to be deemed fit for society. #245
• Panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet. #1030
• The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. #908
• Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
• Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626

December 20th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 216th in the world and 11th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 98.89 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
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December 22nd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 57th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 237.14 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
• Divine Cervine gained the banner Custom #4 by reaching 10 billion citizens.
• Divine Cervine gained the banner Mega-Metropolis by combining 10 billion citizens with a powerhouse economy.
• RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
• Police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds. #907
• The Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause. #1183
• Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork. #849

December 23rd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 32nd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 100.58 on the Human Development Index.
• Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #709
• The government funds large training centres to turn iridescent-winged purple perytons into functioning members of society. #133
• Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
• Troublemakers boast about how many times they have to visit their therapist. #1008
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December 24th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 31st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 12,053.92 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
• Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
• The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines. #1029
• Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
• Turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'. #510
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December 26th, 2019

• The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake. #1037
• Funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals. #1198
• The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #776
• A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750
• Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
• Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #800
• A blood-red mark on the doorframe means a building must be passed over for destruction. #934
• The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #275

December 27th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 37th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 111.19 Effective Tax Rate.
• Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239
• Stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry. #943

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