May 1st, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 15th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 295.22 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
• Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #52
• Giggling teens are asked to put their mouths on rubber dolls. #1138
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419
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May 2nd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 10th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 31,848.68 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
• Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #659
• Male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed. #1135
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May 3rd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 51st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 109.41 Effective Tax Rate.
• Bins outnumber trees in city parks. #1007
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May 4th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 485th in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 99.89 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
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May 5th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 2,457th in the world and 110th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 23,183.12 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
• The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #628
• There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
• Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626
• The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
• Five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars. #1131

May 6th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,051st in the world and 52nd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,601.14 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
• Students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework. #1208
• The volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose. #1058
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May 8th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 11th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 31,867.16 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
• Nouveau riche farmers diligently take care of their golden calf herds. #1075
• Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239
• Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #897
• Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
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May 9th, 2019

• Community centers have arisen from the ashes of demolished houses of worship.#914
• Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
• Polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums. #1201

May 10th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 17th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 498.71 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
• Animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs. #502
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Average to Good.
• Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
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May 11th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,059th in the world and 53rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,588.42 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
• Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
• The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
• Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
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May 13th, 2019

• Almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264
• Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630
• In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
• Queen Arbeaone wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates. #1213

May 14th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 11th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 31,822.08 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
• Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #205
• There's never enough space in space. #754
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May 16th, 2019

• Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #689
• Scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. #999
• Purple fairy deer have more rights than the average citizen. #60
• Where there's a will there is usually a password manager. #926

May 18th, 2019

• A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750
• Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #93

May 19th, 2019

• The justice of Divine Cervine is considered superior to that of other nations. #1015 dismiss, only increases Rudeness
• One-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man. #1212
• Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants. #576
• Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164

May 20th, 2019

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• The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine was founded on this day in the year 2015.
• Divine Cervine is ranked 264th in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 98.84 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
• Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #834
• The Fashion Channel can only be viewed on widescreen TVs. #887
• Radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion. #219
• The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589
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May 21st, 2019

• Prudishness is on the way out. #411
• Interest in globalism never flags. #1114
• No one is quite sure what many government officials look like. #852

May 23rd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 148th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 94.68 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
• Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
• Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
• There's nothing more gay than bleeding for your nation. #1214
• While effusively praising Divine Cervine’s leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more “modernistic” view in the future. #11 dismissed

May 24th, 2019

• The banshee wail foretells skies of death. #974
• The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines. #1029

May 25th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 146th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 94.73 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake. #1037
• Citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones. #1164
• Construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. #249
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May 26th, 2019

• The nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear". #1171
• Helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage. #1073
• RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624
• Flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug. #708

May 27th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,037th in the world and 38th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 99.1 Atheism Rate.
• Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #71
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May 28th, 2019

• Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661
• Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #97
• Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided. #359
• The police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes. #648
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Good to Average.
• It can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom. #1217
• Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600

May 29th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 8,024th in the world and 172nd in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 1,470.70739208 Days.
• Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #786
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May 30th, 2019

• Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304

May 31st, 2019

• The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #64
• In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
• Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #773
• The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #385

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June 1st, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 244th in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 524 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.
• The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #275
• The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #963
• Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. #565
• Sleep-deprived officials are known to collapse after late night revision for their examinations. #1088
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June 2nd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 487th in the world and 20th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 16,593.62 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
• The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #35
• There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #739
• Internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens. #875
• The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #768
• The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677

June 3rd, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 146th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 94.78 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• Government bureaucrats shut down teenage yard-raking businesses for being counter-revolutionary.#1137
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June 5th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 4,234th in the world and 198th in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 2,509 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
• Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556
• UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #81
• The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
• A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #31
• Women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. #838
• Panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet. #1030

June 6th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 491st in the world and 19th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 16,564.78 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
• Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
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June 8th, 2019

• Small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. #1012
• Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #47
• The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #262
• An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577
• There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'. #128

June 9th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 70th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 23,096.93 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
• Churches across the land are hurriedly installing auto-tune for their choirs. #333
• Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
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June 10th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 41st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,530.69 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
• The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
• There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
• A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #83
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June 11th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 40,671.22 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
• The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #36
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June 12th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 146th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 94.83 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
• The new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass". #1009
• Enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity. #1062
• Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Very Good to Excellent.
• The national policy for Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.

June 13th, 2019

• Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
• Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548
• Prolonged government investigations are a common revenge tactic among spurned spouses. #836

June 14th, 2019

• Stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry. #943
• Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #758
• There's a bright dawn ahead for Divine Cervine. #821

June 15th, 2019

• Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed
• Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
• If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Divine Cervinean satellites can detect it. #1099
• It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #813
• Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Enchanted Wildwood Natural History Museum. #655
• 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners. #892
• Organ donation is compulsory. #26
• Vaccinations are mandatory. #413

June 17th, 2019

• The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
• School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501
• Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends. #880
• The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
• Politicians have seen a significant reduction in followers on their social media accounts. #992

June 18th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 4,156th in the world and 193rd in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 2,545 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
• Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint. #1034
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June 19th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 12th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 31,761.76 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
• Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518
• Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Average to Below Average.
• Youth call each other types of vegetables in lieu of government-banned racial insults. #767
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June 21st, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 1,063rd in the world and 61st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,504.45 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
• Doctors spend more time writing sick notes than caring for the sick. #1148
• Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638
• Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #811
• Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #62
• The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
• Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616

June 24th, 2019

• Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #803
• The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. #912
• Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #61
• The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #720
• Older citizens lament over the loss of law and order. #1237
• High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #18
• Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #830

June 25th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 16th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.89 on the Human Development Index.
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
• Farting etiquette is taught in schools. #946
• Drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web. #902
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June 26th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 38th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,632.55 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
• Hordes of tourists are ruining the environment. #1086
• There are no more heroes any more. #935
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June 28th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 8th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 856.67 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
• An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
• Bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination". #759
• The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Excellent to Very Good.
• The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
• Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #23
• Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets. #785

June 29th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 30th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 11,416.5 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.
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June 30th, 2019

• Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 2,240 Meters Of Sunlight.
• Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten. #1023
• The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #856
• There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #733
• Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
• Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2019 July - September" (Factbook: History).