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The Holy Empire of Devoted Snails

“Everybody's mortal but me”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Balder

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The Holy Empire of Devoted Snails is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, zero percent divorce rate, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 41.289 billion Devoted Snailsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The minute, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Law & Order, although Environment, Education, and Welfare are also considered important, while Defense is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Devoted Snails City. Income tax is unheard of.

The large but sluggish Devoted Snailsian economy, worth 821 trillion Godly Shells a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 19,898 Godly Shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs, the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence, poets and writers are regularly rounded up and shot for entertainment, and retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Devoted Snails's national animal is the Dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Blind Devotion.

Devoted Snails is ranked 256,764th in the world and 7,144th in Balder for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 25,466 Standard Monetary Units.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 168thMost Primitive: 256thLargest Populations: 317thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 343rdMost Pacifist: 356thNicest Citizens: 478thMost Compassionate Citizens: 521stMost Cheerful Citizens: 592ndBest Weather: 647thMost Devout: 804thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,609thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,750thLowest Crime Rates: 2,521stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,556thTop
Most Stationary: 4,106thMost Authoritarian: 7,916thTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17,666thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 18,262ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20,541stMost Corrupt Governments: 22,200thHighest Economic Output: 26,993rd
Most Pacifist: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Populations: 6th in the regionNicest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 8th in the regionBest Weather: 14th in the regionMost Primitive: 15th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 17th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 18th in the regionMost Devout: 21st in the regionMost Stationary: 27th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 42nd in the regionTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 78th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 88th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 110th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 222nd in the regionMost Extreme: 287th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 570th in the regionMost Influential: 661st in the region

National Happenings

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