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The Evil Petting Zoo of Deadcatistan

“You're free to do what we tell you!”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: 10000 Islands

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Evil Petting Zoo of Deadcatistan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Chairman Whisker with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 17.324 billion Deadcatistanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry and Education are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Megacity One. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Deadcatistanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,191 trillion tears of orphans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 299,696 tears of orphans, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Tampons are used as cheap fishing bobbers, concussed bearded hipsterball players cannot remember their lineup position, new homeowners go furniture hunting with crowbars, and nobody expected the fruit inquisition. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Deadcatistan's national animal is the bearded hipster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the timeless wisdom of Billy Mays.

Deadcatistan is ranked 1,942nd in the world and 32nd in 10000 Islands for Highest Economic Output, with 5,191 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 417thFattest Citizens: 588thHighest Disposable Incomes: 744thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,035thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,087thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,163rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,269thLargest Retail Industry: 1,480thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,481stLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,497thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,538thHighest Economic Output: 1,942ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,983rdMost Efficient Economies: 2,009thHighest Average Incomes: 2,100thMost Avoided: 2,273rdLargest Gambling Industry: 2,343rdTop
Largest Black Market: 3,125thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,704thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,822ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,010thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,219thLargest Mining Sector: 5,983rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,988thRudest Citizens: 6,196thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,459thMost Secular: 7,643rdHighest Poor Incomes: 7,747thLargest Governments: 7,787thMost Armed: 8,451stSmartest Citizens: 9,265thLargest Populations: 11,872ndTop
Most Cultured: 19,079thHighest Drug Use: 21,329th
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 9th in the regionFattest Citizens: 10th in the regionTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 13th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 14th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 15th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 20th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 20th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 20th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 22nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 25th in the regionMost Avoided: 28th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 28th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 28th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 32nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 33rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 33rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 37th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 38th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 39th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 42nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 44th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 44th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 50th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 71st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 86th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 89th in the regionRudest Citizens: 107th in the region

National Happenings

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