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The Kingdom of Darkmen

“gold or lead”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the South Pacific

Regional Influence: Sprat


The Kingdom of Darkmen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by agustus nero with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.93 billion Darkmenians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darkmen City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Darkmenian economy, worth a remarkable 9,682 trillion human femaleses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 540,021 human femaleses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,471,216 per year while the poor average 13,254, a ratio of 337 to 1.

The Darkmenian war navy contains an oddly large number of luxury yachts and cruise liners, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, and chicken farmers must rise before the sun every day to gag their cockerels. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Darkmen's national animal is the rancors, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Darkmen is ranked 59,407th in the world and 2,647th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 3,597.09 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Largest Gambling Industry: 35thMost Corrupt Governments: 45thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 46thFattest Citizens: 50thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 56thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 59thMost Ignorant Citizens: 62ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 62ndMost Avoided: 64thLargest Insurance Industry: 85thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 86thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 87thHighest Disposable Incomes: 90thLargest Retail Industry: 92ndLargest Mining Sector: 134thMost Devout: 161stLargest Agricultural Sector: 240thHighest Average Incomes: 273rdRudest Citizens: 500thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 511thMost Primitive: 511thMost Armed: 570thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 665thHighest Economic Output: 678thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 725thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 758thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 985thMost Efficient Economies: 1,037thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,124thTop
Most Stationary: 4,194thLargest Governments: 6,107thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,867thMost Conservative: 9,327thLargest Black Market: 9,862ndMost Influential: 13,135thTop
Largest Populations: 15,066thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,798thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 23,214th
Largest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 4th in the regionMost Avoided: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Devout: 6th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 8th in the regionMost Primitive: 14th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 16th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 16th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 23rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 23rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 25th in the regionMost Armed: 26th in the regionRudest Citizens: 27th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 33rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 35th in the regionMost Stationary: 96th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 133rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 147th in the regionLargest Populations: 163rd in the regionLargest Governments: 167th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 393rd in the regionMost Conservative: 535th in the regionTop
Most Influential: 874th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 989th in the regionMost Extreme: 1,098th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,180th in the region

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