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The People's Republic of Constervatania is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.628 billion Constervatanians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Amoratia. The average income tax rate is 92.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Constervatanian economy, worth 883 trillion Constervatanian dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 102,366 Constervatanian dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The latest political memes depict Leader as an overly-choreographed robot, rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements, political speeches always take place at sunset to a background of patriotic power ballads, and women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. Crime is totally unknown. Constervatania's national animal is the hummingbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Constervatania is ranked 272,652^nd in the world and 4,451^st in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -164.86 on the Scary Big Number Scale.