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The Cold Hearted Bastardy of ColdHeartedBastards

“Poor People Are Lazy”

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Gatesville Inc

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise


The Cold Hearted Bastardy of ColdHeartedBastards is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Scrooge McBastard with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 31.984 billion Cold Hearted Bastards hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bastard City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient ColdHeartedBastardsian economy, worth an astonishing 16,160 trillion thalers a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 505,268 thalers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Farting etiquette is taught in schools, ColdHeartedBastards is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high, and manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. ColdHeartedBastards's national animal is the predator, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

ColdHeartedBastards is ranked 90,894th in the world and 9th in Gatesville Inc for Largest Black Market, with 618 billion Standard Monetary Units.

Largest Cheese Export Sector: 28thLargest Agricultural Sector: 51stLargest Publishing Industry: 52ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 69thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 74thSmartest Citizens: 85thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 93rdSafest: 104thLargest Insurance Industry: 106thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 110thHighest Disposable Incomes: 114thHighest Economic Output: 145thFattest Citizens: 152ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 201stHighest Poor Incomes: 222ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 227thHighest Average Incomes: 315thRudest Citizens: 372ndMost Rebellious Youth: 402ndHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 527thLargest Retail Industry: 588thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 597thMost Cultured: 745thLeast Corrupt Governments: 783rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 959thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 999thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,529thLowest Crime Rates: 1,579thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,697thLargest Populations: 1,872ndLargest Governments: 2,186thTop
Most Cheerful Citizens: 2,469thMost Stationary: 2,492ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,033rdMost Secular: 3,229thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,309thMost Efficient Economies: 3,388thMost Influential: 3,877thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5,172ndMost Advanced Public Education: 5,794thNudest: 7,824thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,393rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 11,435thTop
Highest Drug Use: 16,694thMost Inclusive: 17,923rdLargest Mining Sector: 20,116th
Rudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 4 » Schitz, Scuyuup, Crooked Truth, and Schlemeils.