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The Commonwealth of Coffee Drinker

“I can't run a country, sometimes I can”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Sprat


The Commonwealth of Coffee Drinker is a huge, orderly nation, ruled by Prime Minister Carl Kemppainen with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 819 million Coffee Drinker are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coffee City. The average income tax rate is 52.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Coffee Drinkerian economy, worth 56.5 trillion Coffee Beans a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 68,953 Coffee Beans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Halberds are common 18th birthday presents, politicians that report exaggerated crowd sizes for their speeches are dismissed for being delusional, Prime Minister Carl Kemppainen has just been declared ruler of Coffee Drinker in an international press conference, and motivational posters send motorists positive vibes in high-risk areas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coffee Drinker's national animal is the monkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Coffee Drinker is ranked 96,495th in the world and 3,858th in The North Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 33.72 quips per hour.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1,097thTop
Most Influential: 3,761stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 13,216thTop
Safest: 15,405thHealthiest Citizens: 21,623rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 22,292ndBest Weather: 22,561stLongest Average Lifespans: 23,089thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 24,232ndMost Pacifist: 25,071stLowest Crime Rates: 26,587th
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 714th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 741st in the regionSafest: 868th in the regionMost Influential: 889th in the regionMost Patriotic: 1,013th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1,050th in the regionBest Weather: 1,097th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,123rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,134th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,160th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,173rd in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 174 » Notyoutopia, Filibustra, Shibutani, Paradeavenlisian States, Former English Colony, Orado, Ishtimbine, Testnation223, Zyvetskistaahn, Sechiole, Regallio, Tachycardia, Yaorozu, Chipoli, Wisconsota, Libertarianists States, Miyasaka, Q w e r t y, Guslantis, Siwale, Aerilia, Heilhum Imperius, ForestMythal, Hulldom, Scroplia, Alfenheim, United States of Dictators, Guer Aike, Ardonii, Pallaith, Bankowiata, Varisland, Ayuzhhhhh, Perikuresu, Ethnon, Omnistria, Loutsland, Sea Star Islands, Gragadoia, Koda-Land, Great Bights Mum, Corfad, North Bratislava, Aenglaland, Kwaj, Sunto, Pinguioris, Pinky Queen, Kastonvia, Berke Khan, and 124 others.The Rhein States, Dreadton, Omicron Persei V111, Kaulankiland, Sojenre, Pazair, The Zheng Dynasty, Choi Aeguka, Seanat, New Lakemba, Yamantau, Hopenadya, Card Kingdom, Prevaland, The Erie Doctrine, Parpyduckland, Loli County, Hardscrabble, Xagill, Simone Republic, Communist Beijing Must be China, Kranostav, Bongo Mountain, Twinbrook, Capablanca, Yokciq Empire, Felpolandia, Kandorith, Toilet Man, PotatoFarmers, 1 very fast endotarter, Malta Comino Gozo, SteelFists, Meadowfields, Ellbonnia, Frances Francis the First of France, Pleroma Sans Romans, Antiyard, Surb Clant, Arucaria, XD 2, Oannia, Alice Gardens, Sil Dorsett, Ohiyo, Inspiratus, Individualist Catopia, Cowbridge, Imperial Nation Nlaaciaroepmi, Huih, Andstions, Cartures, Wisso, Psykistria, Riocht mor Daraen, Napnomadia, Jorni, Fatski land, Wineclaw, The Austro Germanic Union, Artoriticitys, Selfgradatude, Holy Marcus Empire, Vivanco, Uritalitaria, Merconitonitopia, Ovekisu, Neo Santos, Kree Turrytopia, TyGerria, Kurkmeistan, Revrielleverizzlan, Runeda, The Arverni Lands, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Cobolica, Kaschovia, TheLandOfFunFunFun, Canadamerica, Davidianian, Federation Terra Australis, Austro-Bavarian States, Unshleepd, Intion North, Radicaster, Travislavania, Greater Cesnica, Bud Prussia, Wolffoxia, GrayingOut, FLORRP, Liberate World Order, Nordic-British Union, The Serdey Islands, Demidexia, Maott, Two Yellow Star, Alqaran, King Rainbow Cat, Antipodea and Allies, Arhuvattan, Tsandonown, Galbadiana, Idotistanistan, Boennesis, New Soges, Waystar Fujiwara International, Mazke, East Plate, Iukatia, Piura, Uttarakhand, FurryFeet, Salvo Republic, Socialist Industrial Council Republics, The RandomLand, Furballland in TNP, Holicsta Revia, New-Ferytland, Kayowa, Smithsonia, Cult of Silence, New Trisone, and Eternal Skies.