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The NationStates Monster Jolly of Celannica

“Lucky moo”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Location: The East Pacific

Regional Influence: Sprat


The NationStates Monster Jolly of Celannica is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Santa with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, free-roaming dinosaurs, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.791 billion Celans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celannica. The average income tax rate is 96.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Celan economy, worth a remarkable 2,518 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 370,865 Golds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, the typical murderer weighs 150kg and has hairy arms, and 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celannica's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Urthium.

Celannica is ranked 5,304th in the world and 148th in The East Pacific for Longest Average Lifespans, with 92.26 Years.

Highest Poor Incomes: 262ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 397thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 431stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 472ndLargest Black Market: 571stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 593rdMost Subsidized Industry: 853rdHighest Average Incomes: 972ndMost Advanced Public Education: 1,220thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,347thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,360thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,386thMost Armed: 1,727thMost Avoided: 2,016thTop
Largest Mining Sector: 2,333rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,478thLargest Governments: 2,613thMost Efficient Economies: 2,726thLowest Crime Rates: 2,762ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,820thMost Developed: 3,434thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,476thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,698thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,059thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,304thHighest Economic Output: 5,387thSmartest Citizens: 5,930thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,921stMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,975thLargest Retail Industry: 8,370thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,886thMost Authoritarian: 9,303rdLargest Publishing Industry: 9,549thLargest Agricultural Sector: 10,080thTop
Most Influential: 11,870thMost Secular: 13,441stLargest Welfare Programs: 17,262ndMost Cultured: 17,365thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 18,126thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,958thMost Conservative: 20,003rd
Largest Black Market: 8th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 9th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 15th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 18th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 23rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 27th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 29th in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Armed: 37th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 48th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 55th in the regionLargest Governments: 62nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 64th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 66th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 71st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 87th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 88th in the regionTop
Most Developed: 99th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 126th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 148th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 155th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 159th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 234th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 237th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 241st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 243rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 258th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 302nd in the regionLargest Populations: 318th in the regionMost Cultured: 435th in the regionTop
Most Secular: 474th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 476th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 503rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 555th in the regionMost Influential: 589th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 600th in the region

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