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The NationStates Monster Jolly of Celannica

“Lucky moo”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Location: The East Pacific

Regional Influence: Page


The NationStates Monster Jolly of Celannica is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Santa with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, parental licensing program, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.133 billion Celans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celannica. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Celan economy, worth a remarkable 1,929 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 314,628 Golds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks, hit TV show 'The eXecution Factor' is a critical success, politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes, and frightened witnesses and seriously ill jurors wear the same handcuffs as the defendant. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celannica's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Urthium.

Celannica is ranked 1,285th in the world and 29th in The East Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 308.95 Kickbacks Per Hour.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 354thHighest Poor Incomes: 439thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 487thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 569thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 645thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 755thLargest Black Market: 803rdMost Subsidized Industry: 1,183rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,285thHighest Average Incomes: 1,412thTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 1,832ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,875thMost Avoided: 2,042ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,048thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,201stLargest Governments: 2,583rdLowest Crime Rates: 2,773rdLargest Mining Sector: 2,780thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,263rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,406thMost Influential: 3,533rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,818thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,260thSmartest Citizens: 5,824thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,064thHighest Economic Output: 6,791stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,841stMost Authoritarian: 6,857thMost Efficient Economies: 7,249thTop
Largest Retail Industry: 9,477thLargest Publishing Industry: 11,640thMost Secular: 11,774thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,488thMost Conservative: 14,689thMost Cultured: 16,478thMost Extreme: 16,803rd
Highest Poor Incomes: 9th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11th in the regionLargest Black Market: 12th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 21st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 27th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 27th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 29th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 30th in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 33rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 38th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 44th in the regionLargest Governments: 57th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 65th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 70th in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 78th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 82nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 87th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 103rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 119th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 127th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 137th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 141st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 154th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 221st in the regionMost Influential: 284th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 290th in the regionLargest Populations: 331st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 338th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 347th in the regionMost Secular: 351st in the regionTop
Most Cultured: 423rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 506th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 518th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 565th in the regionMost Extreme: 632nd in the regionMost Developed: 649th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 245 » Wiranath, Asendavia, Staynes, Kyrloth, Lerasi, Dreamersistan, Brethren, The Angel of Charity, Wallenburg, A Slanted Black Stripe, Talitoa, Matdor, BearStackof2015, Brotherland, H-Zhena, Ramaeus, Republic of Berzerkistan, Marrabuk, La xinga, VW53Aland, Libertanny, Stellar Colonies, The Cult of the Great Cthulhu, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, ArenaC, Trimmania, The Holy Utopian Republic, Euricanis, Roliganistan, Arpino, Plazland, Osterreich und Ungarn, Elejamie, United China Nation, Freedom Fascists, Kilkire, Enlil, Riveraland, Stanisiti, The Sacred Whale, ReeK, Ursius Northstar, Survivoristan, Grossvietnam, Magosconity, Utopiam, Bai Lung, Panbuggermayday, Just Vale 2, Adolanta, and 195 others.Lanagon, Ridann, Headpat Central, Encurage, Federated States of Zootron, New Leganes, Dorles, Aeljae, Unger under over, Amjedia, Seksyen 13, Firenation91, The Chir Nordana, Verdushka, Broengtopia, Arierlastan, The armed savages, Lyontisia, Anthonania, Kaigi, Davinhia, 3 14159265358979323846264, Johnny Appleseed1, Kangarawa, Rhealaliit, Sroomiea, Interdimensional Waifus, Northern Chile, Viperos, New Blackthorne, Sanah, Danelaw Scandinavia, Barfleur, United Luka, Chria Deau, Layngderfleethe, Feuraxia, Bortalandet, Tshana, Cantonese Union, Sen Jast, Casimirland, Cymru Broadcasters, The Jamlandias, New Bradenia Ghost, Adavan, Sericena, CheeseBurrito, Dandrakia, The New Crimson Directorate, Arkantis, Great Algerstonia, Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich, Abeltasia, Titanomachia, Servants of Gizmo, Eagas, Dracacre, Ouroboric, America Mjolnir, Drunken Seal Islands, ImperFeudal, Pekweng, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Taya Dust, MikGonnia, Sengsara, Monezambique, Demon Ridge, Adioration, Imperial Akatsuki, Kelsyth, Pariff, Hedonistica, Karatol-Advenra, Sansangra, Biggstonia, Izone, JKrzywda, Valdaric Republic, Qui sequuntur somnia, Monteconstance, Drykoon, Impia Aghte, Taurora, Gryphtopolis, Wizardonia, Chols Worithopia, Stellaire Imperiale, The Romanum Legio, Dhulbahanta, East Malaysia, North Insomnia, Cameronia Excellentia, Pightinbotanoffen, Ayaupia, The Theocracy of Cthulhu, Enou, Dalta Salltan, Axdel, Tawanga, Newfound Prospero, Bakaworld, Bruhciety, The Death Syndicate, Valincong, Seri Tai Republic, The United Asian Republics, The Soviet Space Commie Union, The Empire of Rijelv, Valdwall, Wanabe, Roissyland, Pinus Sibirica, The Green Blade, Rhineheart, Liberstankonia, Puckconnolly, Bullpups, Chubaka, Laikantar, Tel Mithru, Narinoland, Aika Tsumiki, Hokolokia, Solis Ortis, Lower Krakatoa, The Militarius Imperium, Laquara, Dragonia, NewBorns333, Kublam, Kagorg Bra Corna, Squid Ruinosa, Mizanzukistao, Socialist Holy American Empire, Slonful, Jojalandia, Radroerhiel, La Costa Dorada, Hellingrad, Endertopias, The Great Tea Empire, Iodinia, Kario and Nix, Dirty Americans, Greater Colla, Mahatakutana, Slongs, Sreneck, The United Empires, Lantros, Under Upper Antartica, Ellsonian Dominion, Swiftwhiskers, Dark Edgyness, Gajness, Mer Dieu, Slys Paws, Dragons Blood, Modra, Joundia, Shinnokawa, Griemvarant, The Unholy Church of Cthulhu, Vultuca, Land of the Chocobos, Zukchiva, Blazing Samaritan, Liguirra, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Aveyona, The island of Kiria, Abtracnt, Mundiferrum, Ska Hydorordia, Bytes, Acnor, Marrico, Tawuse, United Artificial Intelligence Armada, Izonno, Zang0, Bharatewa, Someseni, Hum Macussi, Blobbo, Hornetopia, Thyaclinia, New Gamerstan, TURKEYISM, Galve, The Holy Empire of Moronica, Mambania, and Mariarty.