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The Voice of CaveDweller

“Everyone blows up labs at some point in their lifetime.”

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the Pacific

Regional Influence: Page


The Voice of CaveDweller is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Cooki with a fair hand, and notable for its public floggings, flagrant waste-dumping, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 6.696 billion Cooks are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Education, Administration, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Environment and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cooki. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.9%.

The frighteningly efficient CaveDwellerian economy, worth a remarkable 1,165 trillion Cookies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 174,101 Cookies, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,579,370 per year while the poor average 2,236, a ratio of 706 to 1.

The new biography of Cooki is subtitled "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate the Bomb", a shipwreck is everyone's fault but the captain's, most people suffer from some form of hearing loss, and lip-readers are often left perplexed by political rallies. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. CaveDweller's national animal is the Dog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Maths.

CaveDweller is ranked 224,695th in the world and 5,516th in the Pacific for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens, with 42.01 Whatever.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 39thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 472ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 473rdRudest Citizens: 536thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 848thFattest Citizens: 1,019thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,023rdMost Armed: 1,093rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,133rdHighest Crime Rates: 1,204thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,825thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,961stHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,312thMost Avoided: 2,321stTop
Largest Retail Industry: 3,265thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,641stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,939thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,501stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,674thMost Devout: 5,165thMost Efficient Economies: 6,519thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,170thHighest Average Incomes: 9,834thTop
Most Influential: 12,415thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,553rdMost Cultured: 13,780thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,257thHighest Economic Output: 15,690thLargest Publishing Industry: 15,799thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 16,827thMost Pro-Market: 17,809thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,861stMost Stationary: 19,345thSmartest Citizens: 23,012th
Most Valuable International Artwork: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8th in the regionRudest Citizens: 14th in the regionFattest Citizens: 18th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 19th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 22nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 23rd in the regionMost Armed: 23rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 27th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 28th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 28th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 36th in the regionMost Avoided: 49th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 50th in the regionTop
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 75th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 79th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 87th in the regionMost Devout: 104th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 119th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 155th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 155th in the regionMost Influential: 171st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 181st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 236th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 239th in the regionMost Stationary: 275th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 277th in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 309th in the regionMost Cultured: 322nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 345th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 356th in the regionLargest Populations: 366th in the regionLargest Black Market: 369th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 507th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 577th in the region

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