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The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse

“Skin on skin, let the love begin”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, free-roaming dinosaurs, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 20.357 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 5,178 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 254,407 $$s, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 759,814 per year while the poor average 66,660, a ratio of 11.4 to 1.

An IT mega-corporation has a patent pending on the rectangle, the carcasses of double-deckers can be found littering high streets all around the country, supermarket milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets, and the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 7,389^th in the world and 5^th in BLITZKRIEG for Largest Populations, with 20.4 billion Capita.

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