Spotlight on:

The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse

“Skin on skin, let the love begin”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and renowned for its digital currency, vat-grown people, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.082 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 8,471 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 367,017 $$s, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,412,805 per year while the poor average 3,618, a ratio of 943 to 1.

Military officers are given medals for disobeying orders, Captain Woodhousean farm salmon are known for being both horribly diseased and remarkably acrobatic, a signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all, and wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 2,359^th in the world and 1^st in BLITZKRIEG for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 7,387.28 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%Top
5%Top
10%Top
5%Top
10%