Spotlight on:
The Constitutional Crabery of Captain Krabs |
“Walking Sideways”
Category: Iron Fist Consumerists | ||
Civil Rights: Some |
Economy: Frightening |
Political Freedoms: Few |
Location: Doll Guldur |
Regional Influence: Auxiliary |
The Constitutional Crabery of Captain Krabs is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Squidward with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.66 billion Captain Krabsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Krabsville. The average income tax rate is 70.3%.
The frighteningly efficient Captain Krabsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,102 trillion Brains a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 127,328 Brains, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.
For the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs, Squidward has no checks and balances after the upper house was abolished, political candidates are regularly blocked for minor convictions from their teenage years, and executions often take hours as amateurs attempt to find veins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Captain Krabs's national animal is the Octopus, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Prawnism.
Captain Krabs is ranked 37,536th in the world and 10th in Doll Guldur for Most Stationary, with 1,216.810505963 days.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Captain Krabs was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Mining Sector.
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, executions often take hours as amateurs attempt to find veins.
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, political candidates are regularly blocked for minor convictions from their teenage years.
- : Captain Krabs was reclassified from "Moralistic Democracy" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, Squidward has no checks and balances after the upper house was abolished.
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, for the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs.
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, citizens re-mortgage their homes to buy lottery tickets.
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, the traditional Violetist dish of stuffed sheep's head is served with an intense look of shock upon its face.
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, citizens volunteer for tax audits to avoid the 80-page Practical Assessment Survey Tool On Religions.
- : Following new legislation in Captain Krabs, the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Krabsville Times is sold out.