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The Constitutional Crabery of Captain Krabs

“Walking Sideways”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Location: Doll Guldur

Regional Influence: Auxiliary

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Constitutional Crabery of Captain Krabs is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Squidward with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.66 billion Captain Krabsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Krabsville. The average income tax rate is 70.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Krabsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,102 trillion Brains a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 127,328 Brains, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

For the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs, Squidward has no checks and balances after the upper house was abolished, political candidates are regularly blocked for minor convictions from their teenage years, and executions often take hours as amateurs attempt to find veins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Captain Krabs's national animal is the Octopus, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Prawnism.

Captain Krabs is ranked 37,536th in the world and 10th in Doll Guldur for Most Stationary, with 1,216.810505963 days.

Top
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,481stLargest Black Market: 11,056thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13,531stTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,960thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,192ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 17,839thMost Patriotic: 17,874thMost Corrupt Governments: 19,741stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 20,000thLargest Welfare Programs: 20,373rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21,990thMost Developed: 23,738thMost Devout: 24,792ndHighest Economic Output: 26,516thMost Efficient Economies: 27,414thLowest Crime Rates: 29,525th
Top
10%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the region

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