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The Sadistic Republic of Bright Angel

“Get Outa Here!!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Sadistic Republic of Bright Angel is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Johann der Becker with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, ubiquitous missile silos, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 37.223 billion Bright Angelians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Spirituality, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Flagstaff. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Bright Angelian economy, worth an astonishing 47,585 trillion zuchs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,278,397 zuchs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,716,440 per year while the poor average 244,513, a ratio of 19.3 to 1.

UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, citizens who don't recite the Pledge of Bright Angel at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations, and the government is buying children's books by the thousands. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Bright Angel's national animal is the red bearded woodchuck, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Veni vidi vici.

Bright Angel is ranked 238,567^th in the world and 3^rd in Macfora Forever for Most Income Equality, scoring 5.18 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

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