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The United States of Brenner Islandia

“Have You Met Tom”

Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: West Pacific

Regional Influence: Instigator


The United States of Brenner Islandia is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 9.055 billion Brenner Islandians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, although Industry and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Brenner Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 3,688 trillion Matts a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 407,367 Matts, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,786,806 per year while the poor average 4,031, a ratio of 939 to 1.

Not many kids know Shakespeare's Hamlet but most of them have seen unofficial sequel Hamlet III - The Search For Osric, foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Brenner Islandian Moonshine", sofas are perpetually on sales that Must End Soon, and the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Brenner Islandia's national animal is the Jeff, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Brenner Islandia is ranked 233,296th in the world and 20th in West Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -64.34 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.

Rudest Citizens: 23rdLargest Retail Industry: 25thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 28thMost Armed: 31stHighest Crime Rates: 33rdFattest Citizens: 43rdLargest Gambling Industry: 59thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 66thMost Avoided: 96thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 97thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 114thMost Ignorant Citizens: 126thHighest Disposable Incomes: 230thMost Rebellious Youth: 248thMost Efficient Economies: 334thMost Corrupt Governments: 352ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 401stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 431stLargest Mining Sector: 448thHighest Average Incomes: 716thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 823rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,142ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,588thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,627thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,836thTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,540thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,594thHighest Economic Output: 3,300thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,805thMost Devout: 4,138thLargest Governments: 5,352ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,440thNudest: 7,946thTop
Largest Information Technology Sector: 12,448thMost Stationary: 15,098thLargest Black Market: 16,067thHighest Drug Use: 16,672ndMost Influential: 16,940thMost Pro-Market: 17,297th
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Politically Free: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionNudest: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 2nd in the region

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