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The Socialist Fever Dream of Bernie Fandom

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The Socialist Fever Dream of Bernie Fandom is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Yodle with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate population of 15.876 billion Bernie Fans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Burlington. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Bernie Fandomian economy, worth a remarkable 1,563 trillion Gold Coins a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 98,478 Gold Coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 283,161 per year while the poor average 27,219, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

Lobbyists are trying to convince government to recategorize most natural disasters as "non-critical naturogenic inconveniences", school nurse's offices feature full-service operating suites, wealthy Bernie Fans never seem to hear the doorbell, and ancestry test results arrive bundled with patent applications. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bernie Fandom's national animal is the Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Yodlism.

Bernie Fandom is ranked 65,369^th in the world and 1^st in Bernie Sanders Supporters for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.79 law-abiding acts per hour.

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