Bedetopian Military - Weapons and Equipment

Foreword

Weapons and equipment are equipped with a neural link, which destroys the object if the user dies.

Blue Soldiers

AED Unit

Penetrative Power: None
Damage: Extreme
Rate of Fire: Low
Ammo: Low
Knockback: None
Recoil: Low
Overheat: None
Only works on organics

Analyze, Execute, Dissolve, unintended pun with defibrilators. Those are electric guns with a mind-reading AI in them. Each AED AI has its own personality, but they're all designed to compensate for the incompetence of the wielders. There are 4 modes: Paralysis, Cardiac Arrest, OVERKILL (basically toasts the victim), and Annihilate. Even if it's very advanced technology, you've got to be careful about the battery, and Annihilate requires a full one. Nanomachines are then used to dissolve the corpse. Basically a goofier Dominator, if you know what that is.

The Pew Pew

Penetrative Power: Medium
Damage: Medium
Rate of Fire: Medium
Ammo: Very High
Knockback: None
Recoil: None
Overheat: Low

Your standard issue laser pistol.

Photon Sprayer

Penetrative Power: High
Damage: Very High
Rate of Fire: Low
Ammo: Medium
Knockback: High
Recoil: None
Overheat: High

A laser shotgun.

Headmelter

Penetrative Power: Extreme
Damage: Extreme
Rate of Fire: Low
Ammo: Low
Knockback: Very High
Recoil: Low
Overheat: Very High

A plasma sniper rifle.

Mirror Shield

Reflects lasers, but is quite fragile against bullets and explosives.

Flashbang

Stuns unprotected units with a loud bang and blinding light.

Orange Soldiers

Dicyanoacetylene Flamethrower

Penetrative Power: Medium
Damage: Extreme
Rate of Fire: High
Ammo: Medium
Knockback: None
Recoil: None
Overheat: None

Hell Mole

A small remotely controlled drill that digs a small tunnel.

Purple Soldiers

Gauss Rifle

Penetrative Power: Extreme
Damage: High
Rate of Fire: High (Has semi-auto and full-auto modes)
Ammo: High
Knockback: High
Recoil: Medium
Overheat: None

Micro Hadron

Penetrative Power: Extreme
Damage: Extreme
Rate of Fire: Very Low
Ammo: Low
Knockback: Extreme
Recoil: Low
Overheat: None

A miniature circular particle accelerator. Needs time to charge but deals a lot of damage. Basically a Gauss shotgun.

Red Soldiers

Rocket Launcher

Penetrative Power: Medium
Damage: Extreme
Rate of Fire: Very Low
Ammo: Low
Knockback: Extreme
Recoil: Low
Overheat: None

Guided missile launcher. Can be used to rocket jump with the shield.

HE Shield

Protects against bullets and explosives.

Plasma Grenade

Melts pretty much anything caught in the explosion.

White Soldiers

Katana

Nichiyoobi Sniper

Penetrative Power: Very High
Damage: Extreme
Rate of Fire: Very Low
Ammo: Low
Knockback: Low
Recoil: Low
Overheat: None
Only works on organics

If you get hit, you'll die in a pool of your own blood.

Omni-Jetpack

Allows the user to fly and maneuver easily in the air.

Yellow Soldiers

Arc Projector

Penetrative Power: Low
Damage: High
Rate of Fire: Extreme
Ammo: High
Knockback: None
Recoil: None
Overheat: High

Launches an electric arc at the target.

EMP Grenades

Disables unprotected electronics caught in the explosion.

Green Soldiers

Healing Vial

Heals almost every injury. Only works on Bedetopian troops who have the antidote in their blood, if the enemy tries to inject them with it they'll die from a powerful toxin.

Nichiyoobi Vial

If you don't have a gasmask, you'll die in a pool of your own blood.

Nichiyoobi Syringe Gun

Penetrative Power: Medium
Damage: Extreme
Rate of Fire: Very High
Ammo: Very High
Knockback: None
Recoil: Low
Overheat: None
Only works on organics

If you don't have good armor, you'll die in a pool of your own blood.

Fuchsia Soldiers

Their Mind

Superweapons

The Black Panther

Penetrative Power: Shield Destroyer
Rate of Fire: Pathetic
Damage: Planetary Annihilation
Ammo: Infinite

The Black Panther is the biggest WMD of Bedetopia. It is an enormous black diamond that was made using a massive lump of coal that Santa Claus launched on the βetaship, before DEAREST LEADER annihilated him in the most painful way possible.

It is able to fire a powerful laser that combines electricity and ice and can destroy whole planets. Example:

The Black Panther's focus is connected to 8 generators and batteries. Do note that because I am a genre savvy villain, at least 4 batteries are permanently charged and generate a forcefield to prevent damage. The βetaship can't jump while stocking more energy, so that's the limit, but it still decreases charge time by around 50%. Alternatively, it can be fired as long as at least one battery is charged, and the amount of discharged batteries can be chosen.

Scale of Annihilation, if it's not destroyed it becomes covered in thick ice:

One Battery (12.5%): Small Town
Two Batteries (25%): Average Town
Three Batteries (37.5%): Large Town/Capital City
Four Batteries (50%): Region
Five Batteries (62.5%): Country
Six Batteries (75%): Continent/Small Moons
Seven Batteries (87.5%): Half a planet/Large Moons
Eight Batteries (100%): Planet