Spotlight on:

The Democratic People's Republic of Beatesia

“Serve the State”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Democratic People's Republic of Beatesia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Fleet Admiral Nicholas Millett with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, anti-smoking policies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.105 billion Beatesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Public Transport, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beatesgrad. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Beatesian economy, worth a remarkable 4,627 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 353,077 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jaywalking is punishable by public flogging, a signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that he is in fact a crook after all, Beatesia isn't what it used to be, and sprinters achieve their personal bests only when the Olympic Team recruiters come calling. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Beatesia's national animal is the Owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is The Worker's Party of Beatesia.

Beatesia is ranked 236,320^th in the world and 8,119^th in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 3.21 Obesity Rate.

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