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The Democratic People's Republic of Beatesia

“Serve the State”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the South Pacific

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Democratic People's Republic of Beatesia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Fleet Admiral Nicholas Millett with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, anti-smoking policies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.105 billion Beatesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Public Transport, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beatesgrad. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Beatesian economy, worth a remarkable 4,627 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 353,077 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jaywalking is punishable by public flogging, a signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that he is in fact a crook after all, Beatesia isn't what it used to be, and sprinters achieve their personal bests only when the Olympic Team recruiters come calling. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Beatesia's national animal is the Owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is The Worker's Party of Beatesia.

Beatesia is ranked 236,320th in the world and 8,119th in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 3.21 Obesity Rate.

Most Advanced Public Transport: 8thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 56thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 112thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 119thMost Subsidized Industry: 219thLargest Black Market: 300thHighest Poor Incomes: 423rdMost Advanced Public Education: 467thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 765thMost Corrupt Governments: 846thHighest Average Tax Rates: 894thLargest Governments: 1,125thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,147thHighest Average Incomes: 1,239thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,276thLowest Crime Rates: 1,332ndTop
Highest Economic Output: 2,397thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,085thMost Developed: 3,365thHealthiest Citizens: 3,590thLargest Welfare Programs: 3,803rdMost Authoritarian: 3,970thMost Secular: 4,611thMost Efficient Economies: 5,120thMost Conservative: 6,084thMost Avoided: 7,350thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,540thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,341stSmartest Citizens: 10,330thTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 13,253rdLargest Mining Sector: 15,096thMost Stationary: 15,226thMost Scientifically Advanced: 17,042ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,138thMost Extreme: 17,778thLargest Populations: 21,302nd
Most Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Black Market: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 16th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 16th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 25th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 25th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 28th in the regionLargest Governments: 32nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 34th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 44th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 46th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 47th in the regionTop
Most Developed: 105th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 115th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 125th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 125th in the regionMost Secular: 146th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 156th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 157th in the regionMost Extreme: 219th in the regionLargest Populations: 240th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 280th in the regionMost Stationary: 281st in the regionMost Conservative: 282nd in the regionMost Avoided: 304th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 310th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 320th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 378th in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 503rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 503rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 532nd in the region

National Happenings

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