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The Empire of Badger Wind

“Release the crazed robot badger with laser eyes!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the South Pacific

Regional Influence: Nipper


The Empire of Badger Wind is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Creator Destroyer with an iron fist, and notable for its lack of airports, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 21.679 billion Badgers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of When Pigs Fly. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Badgerian economy, worth a remarkable 6,103 trillion nuggets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 281,538 nuggets, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, the nation's peacekeeping efforts usually comes with a healthy dose of pillaging, prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators, and weighted heels are added to military boots to ensure diminutive celebrities meet minimum requirements. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Badger Wind's national animal is the Badger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Badger Wind is ranked 2,648th in the world and 60th in the South Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 12,586.45 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 43rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 64thBest Weather: 77thMost Beautiful Environments: 77thMost Developed: 123rdLongest Average Lifespans: 136thHealthiest Citizens: 155thMost Advanced Public Education: 223rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 337thLargest Welfare Programs: 374thMost Secular: 380thHighest Average Tax Rates: 459thMost Advanced Public Transport: 475thLowest Crime Rates: 492ndHighest Food Quality: 517thLargest Governments: 551stMost Inclusive: 779thHighest Poor Incomes: 990thMost Pacifist: 1,089thSmartest Citizens: 1,322ndMost Corrupt Governments: 1,713thHighest Economic Output: 1,829thLargest Black Market: 2,434thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,648thTop
Most Cultured: 2,768thHighest Average Incomes: 2,835thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,229thMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,622ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,006thNudest: 5,338thMost Efficient Economies: 6,723rdLargest Populations: 8,364thTop
Most Authoritarian: 16,020thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,598thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 20,692ndMost Income Equality: 20,729th
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 4th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4th in the regionBest Weather: 6th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 9th in the regionMost Developed: 10th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 10th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 11th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 12th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 15th in the regionLargest Governments: 17th in the regionMost Secular: 18th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 20th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 22nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 29th in the regionMost Inclusive: 30th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 33rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 39th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 41st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 44th in the regionLargest Black Market: 49th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 60th in the regionLargest Populations: 69th in the regionMost Cultured: 75th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 86th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 95th in the regionTop
Nudest: 123rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 150th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 153rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 216th in the regionMost Stationary: 472nd in the regionTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 560th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 802nd in the regionMost Income Equality: 961st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,026th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,063rd in the region

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