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The Empire of Badger Wind

“Release the crazed robot badger with laser eyes!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the South Pacific

Regional Influence: Nipper


The Empire of Badger Wind is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Creator Destroyer with an iron fist, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, keen interest in outer space, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.901 billion Badgers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of When Pigs Fly. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Badgerian economy, worth a remarkable 5,679 trillion nuggets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 300,485 nuggets, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, undergrads find their professors' mushroom experiments less psychedelic than expected, graverobbers claim they're acting within the interest of 'scientific preservation', and community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Badger Wind's national animal is the Badger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Badger Wind is ranked 95,309th in the world and 3,439th in the South Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 51.53 Insults Per Minute.

Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 32ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 33rdBest Weather: 61stMost Beautiful Environments: 77thMost Developed: 85thLongest Average Lifespans: 101stHealthiest Citizens: 126thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 128thMost Advanced Public Education: 146thLargest Welfare Programs: 294thMost Secular: 335thMost Advanced Public Transport: 425thHighest Average Tax Rates: 444thLowest Crime Rates: 488thLargest Governments: 526thHighest Poor Incomes: 598thMost Inclusive: 600thMost Pacifist: 893rdLargest Black Market: 1,092ndSmartest Citizens: 1,256thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,287thHighest Economic Output: 1,662ndMost Subsidized Industry: 1,874thHighest Average Incomes: 2,086thTop
Most Cultured: 2,984thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,509thMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,602ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,649thNudest: 6,237thMost Efficient Economies: 6,740thLargest Populations: 8,920thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 10,219thTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 15,101stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 15,665thMost Income Equality: 15,784thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,538thMost Authoritarian: 19,910th
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 6th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 6th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 8th in the regionMost Developed: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 8th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 12th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 15th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 18th in the regionMost Secular: 18th in the regionLargest Governments: 18th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 23rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 25th in the regionMost Pacifist: 26th in the regionMost Inclusive: 26th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 35th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 35th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 40th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 58th in the regionLargest Populations: 77th in the regionTop
Most Cultured: 87th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 87th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 118th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 147th in the regionNudest: 163rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 179th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 219th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 308th in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 449th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 491st in the regionMost Income Equality: 646th in the region

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