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The Eternal Misfortune of Askatopia

“Stop Reading My Motto!”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Eternal Misfortune of Askatopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Executioner with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, enforced nudity, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.912 billion Disposables are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration are also considered important, while Education and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Disposable economy, worth an astonishing 15,413 trillion Nuclear Bombs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 672,712 Nuclear Bombs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy, most foreigners can't name the leader of Askatopia, atheists on vacation find Violetism's scriptures make useful doorstops, and practically perfect royal toddlers tend to say "regrettably not at this juncture" rather than "no". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Askatopia's national animal is the Slug, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Violetism.

Askatopia is ranked 75^th in the world and 1^st in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Largest Black Market, with 27,700 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

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