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The PS2 Puppet of Askatopia

“Stop reading my motto!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the South Pacific

Regional Influence: Newcomer


The PS2 Puppet of Askatopia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Executioner with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory vegetarianism, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.57 billion Disposables are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth. The average income tax rate is 75.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Disposable economy, worth a remarkable 5,562 trillion Nuclear Bombs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 409,900 Nuclear Bombs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Groups of three or more trees are cut down in the name of 'child safety', the police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers, adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, and missionaries learn the hard way that their piercing spiritual insights are no match for arrows. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Askatopia's national animal is the Slug, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Violetism.

Askatopia is ranked 4,099th in the world and 135th in the South Pacific for Nudest, with 1,201.25 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1stMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rdMost Primitive: 3rdMost Devout: 4thLargest Mining Sector: 4thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 28thMost Corrupt Governments: 45thMost Avoided: 106thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 121stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 200thFattest Citizens: 223rdLargest Black Market: 258thHighest Poor Incomes: 305thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 359thLowest Crime Rates: 543rdHighest Average Incomes: 672ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,033rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,320thHighest Economic Output: 1,533rdTop
Most Cultured: 3,008thRudest Citizens: 3,561stLargest Governments: 3,796thMost Efficient Economies: 4,091stNudest: 4,099thMost Conservative: 5,217thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,653rdMost Authoritarian: 6,144thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,353rdTop
Largest Populations: 17,172ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 18,170thMost Subsidized Industry: 18,175thHighest Average Tax Rates: 19,219thMost Extreme: 21,557th
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7th in the regionLargest Black Market: 8th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 16th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 18th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 27th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 28th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 50th in the regionTop
Most Cultured: 90th in the regionLargest Governments: 100th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 115th in the regionRudest Citizens: 119th in the regionNudest: 135th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 143rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 156th in the regionLargest Populations: 191st in the regionMost Conservative: 305th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 342nd in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 540th in the regionMost Extreme: 564th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 588th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 637th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 745th in the region

National Happenings

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