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“Se fosse careca, não era tão iluminado.”

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The Senhor Engenheiro of Arquipelago da Coruja is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Camarada Mamede with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 10.5 billion Corujenses are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — prioritizes Healthcare, although Education, Environment, and Welfare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nova Évora. The average income tax rate is 77.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Corujense economy, worth 389 trillion escudoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 37,115 escudoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Life expectancies inside correctional facilities vastly exceed the national average, people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room, and they who do not work shall not eat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arquipelago da Coruja's national animal is the coruja, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Direitos de Autor.

Arquipelago da Coruja is ranked 256,775^th in the world and 95^th in Portugal for Most Conservative, scoring 37.3 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.